Attention, ladies: ALL MEN HAVE PEED IN THE SHOWER. Regardless of what your partner may claim, he has indulged in this little secret at some point—whether it’s in your shower, the ocean, a pool, or even a public fountain. Let’s focus on the shower for now.
Peeing in the shower used to be a simple pleasure. The tub was spotless, there were no toys to maneuver around, and I could just hop in, close my eyes, and let it flow. However, over the past eight years, my ability to enjoy this moment has significantly dwindled. (Unless I find myself in a hotel or at a friend’s house. Sorry, buddies.)
Now, I’ve had to introduce an extra step to my shower routine:
- STEP 1: UNDRESS
- STEP 2: PEES
- STEP 3: SHOWER
You see the issue? It once was:
- STEP 1: UNDRESS
- STEP 2: PEE/SHOWER
The culprit? Kids. Those sweet little beings that come into the world all adorable and cuddly only to transform into walking disruptors of joy and ambition. Having children has completely altered my shower experience, and it’s not great.
It’s quite a challenge to pee in the shower when my bathtub is a minefield of toys—sticky alphabet letters, floating ducks, kitchen bowls, dog toys, mixing spoons, you name it. I once even discovered a pork chop. Over the years, I’ve contemplated how to navigate around these toys, convinced the water would wash them clean, but I often ended up talking myself out of it.
This morning, however, I had a delightful surprise. As I stumbled into the bathroom, half-asleep and rubbing my eyes, I noticed the tub was empty—no toys in sight. A wave of excitement rushed over me, and a sly grin appeared on my face, but just as quickly, it faded. I realized I had already peed before stepping into the shower.
Another victory for the kids.
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In summary, kids can have a way of stealing life’s little pleasures, turning even the simplest moments into a complex routine.