Every now and then, I glance around my chaotic household and think, “This would make a fantastic reality show!” But if given the chance, I’d have to decline. Here’s why:
- Casual Attire: My kids have taken “dress code” to a whole new level—clothing is often optional at home.
- Boy Humor: With three boys in the house, discussions frequently revolve around butts, poop, and fart jokes. For example, my older sons find it hilarious to ask their little brother, “What’s half poodle and half poodle?” only to hear him gleefully respond, “Poo Poo!”
- Where’s the Baby?: I sometimes lose track of our youngest while I’m busy in the kitchen. One moment I’m washing dishes, and the next, I’m wondering if he’s scaling the top bunk or flushing a mountain of wet wipes down the toilet. If that made it on air, I can only imagine a visit from Child Protective Services would be imminent.
- Slightly More Aware: Other times, I do know where he is—like when he’s climbed onto the kitchen counter to reach for treats, and I’m there snapping pictures instead of stopping him.
- Volume Control? What’s That?: Our home is a symphony of noise! One of the kids can reach decibel levels that make my eardrums vibrate. Bedtime is no quieter; last night, I heard him half-shouting, “Mamamaaaa!” followed by a heartfelt, “I love you, Mom.” What can I say to that?
- Lego Land: My boys adore Legos, which I love too, as it encourages their creativity. But they’re scattered everywhere, including my once-pristine dining room. I can just picture the cameras rolling when I accidentally vacuum up a piece or two.
- Pajama School Runs: I often take my oldest to school in my pajamas, with my younger kids in theirs as well. Just last week, my middle son was only wearing his underwear during drop-off. Fashion statements in my household are quite relaxed!
- Sweet Moments vs. Chaos: Sure, cameras might catch those tender moments, like when my middle son lovingly pats his brother’s face, but I worry they’d focus more on the chaos, like the boys wrestling each other while I’m frantically barking orders about shoes and teeth brushing.
- Unusual Breakfast Choices: Breakfast at our place can get a little quirky. My middle kid often requests popcorn or even tilapia to start the day.
- Frequent Plumbing Problems: I find myself reaching for the plunger almost daily. It’s either the wet wipes or various toys that end up where they shouldn’t be. You wouldn’t want to hear the details!
- Clean for Company, Not TV: My home is “company clean” for about four hours a month thanks to the housekeeper I hire. I still have to clean before she arrives, so the only time my house is really spotless is right before the kids come home.
- Lockout Episode: I once locked my oldest son and my cell phone in the car at a shopping center, and a kind stranger had to call the fire department to help. Thankfully, my son was fine, but I couldn’t help but think of Britney Spears and her paparazzi troubles that same day.
What would viewers witness if cameras were rolling in your home?
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In summary, while reality TV may seem appealing, my daily life is a whirlwind of laughter, chaos, and a few too many surprises that I prefer to keep off-screen.