Parenting
Have you encountered that lively child in various settings? Perhaps at a restaurant, he’s the one whose boisterous antics disrupt the peace, or in your child’s classroom, he’s the one spinning and squirming, making you hope he’s not seated next to your little one. When it’s time to hand out birthday invitations, he’s the one you might hesitate to include. On the soccer field, he’s the kid who makes you wonder why his parents even show up, seemingly uninterested in the game. At the grocery store, he’s the one whose behavior leads you to think his parents need to step up. But there’s so much more to the story of that rambunctious child.
What you might not know is that since he was just two years old, his parents received daily updates from preschool mentioning things like, “During story-time, your child was more interested in running around than sitting down,” or “He disrupted nap-time.” You may also be unaware that when his concerned mother confided in friends and family, their responses were often dismissive, such as, “That’s typical for his age,” or “All boys are just energetic!”
At his preschool Christmas performance, he was positioned at the back to keep him out of sight, which meant his parents couldn’t capture any moments on video. Instead of singing along with the practiced songs, he was busy jumping and making silly faces. And during his pre-kindergarten graduation, when he delivered his line flawlessly, his mother was overcome with tears—not of pride, but of sheer relief.
In kindergarten, things took a turn when he faced expulsion threats for a habit that led to an embarrassing incident involving a classmate. His mother had to explain the concept of private parts to him, even though he didn’t grasp its significance.
Interestingly, his parents were skeptical about the existence of ADHD, believing it was a label used by parents who couldn’t manage their children. His mother has read numerous books on parenting, focusing on topics like strong-willed children and discipline strategies, hoping to find the right approach to help him thrive.
You might not realize that they create a structured and loving environment at home, complete with reward charts and consistent discipline. But sometimes, when she shares that they’ve opted against medication, others react defensively, thinking she’s judging their choices.
His father is passionate about soccer and keeps enrolling him in teams, hoping one day he’ll discover the joy of the game, even if his son prefers to observe the world around him instead. This spirited child often finds himself excluded from birthday parties, even though he longs to be part of the fun.
His mother is acutely aware when his ADHD symptoms peak, noticing when his focus drifts away. In moments of frustration, she has regrettably raised her voice to get his attention, feeling remorseful afterward. She constantly reminds herself that ADHD is a genuine disorder, affecting how he perceives his surroundings, making every detail equally captivating to him.
Every day, his parents navigate the delicate balance of understanding their child’s challenges while instilling the importance of rules and social norms in a world that often lacks patience for differences. Despite her efforts to present ADHD in a positive light, he recognizes his uniqueness and has expressed his frustration, wishing for a day when he no longer feels the weight of it.
So, the next time you see a child full of energy, accompanied by a weary-looking parent with a frazzled appearance, keep in mind that there’s much more beneath the surface than you may realize. This understanding can foster empathy and awareness in our communities.
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Summary: This piece highlights the often-overlooked struggles of parents raising spirited children, particularly those with ADHD. It emphasizes the importance of understanding and empathy toward these families, who face unique challenges while fostering a loving and structured environment for their children.