When you welcome babies into your life, carving out time (and energy) for some postnatal romance with your partner can feel nearly impossible. Between diaper changes, sleep deprivation, and endless baby duties, it’s easy to forget about that spark. But don’t worry—there’s hope! Here’s a lighthearted guide on how to rekindle some post-baby intimacy:
- Plan an “Early” Night: You and your partner decide it’s time for a romantic evening.
- Raid the Underwear Drawer: Search for something other than pajamas. Your options include: oversized t-shirts, comfy undies, two old maternity bras, three used breast pads, or that random thong that somehow survived the Great Thong Purge of 2010.
- Consider a Quick Tidy-Up: Think about clearing out your underwear drawer but quickly dismiss the idea—what if the baby wakes up?
- Hop into Bed: You both get ready for some action only to realize you’re so exhausted that an early night sounds much better.
- Delay the Fun for Tomorrow: Agree to try again the next evening.
The following night, you find yourselves in bed, feeling romantic. Suddenly, your partner thinks he hears the baby. You both sit up and listen, but nothing happens. Just as you settle back into your romantic mood, you think you hear the baby again. After a few interruptions, the inevitable occurs—the baby wakes up!
You get up to feed the baby, return to bed, and find your partner fast asleep. You resolve to try again tomorrow. After a few sleepless nights, two days later, you both commit to a night of passion.
- Spice It Up on the Couch: You suggest the settee for a change of scenery (and to avoid dozing off). As you begin to get cozy, you’re interrupted by the sight of “Thomas The Tank Engine” staring at you. Quickly turn him to face the wall.
- Toy Trouble: You accidentally sit on a plastic Fireman Sam, causing your partner to toss him into the toy car box. You find yourself irritated at the toy organization system that has been explained a million times yet is still ignored.
Trying to focus on the romance, your partner calls you out, “You’re thinking about Fireman Sam, aren’t you?” You playfully deny it, but the image is hard to shake. Getting up to move Fireman Sam to the right box, you lose track of time and start organizing toys instead of enjoying the moment.
- Return to the Romance: Just as things are heating up again, your partner leans in, whispering sweet nothings—but instead, he comments on the settee’s odor. Both of you decide that couch romance might not be in the cards tonight and opt for some TV instead.
Days later, with the grandparents taking the kids out, you seize the opportunity for some much-needed intimacy—but it’s not as simple as it sounds. You try to transition from ‘toddler duties to romantic feelings,’ suggesting a casual coffee and cake in bed instead. As you scroll through baby pictures, you realize time is slipping away.
Eventually, two weeks later, you both agree that a night away is essential for some serious romance, so you leave the baby with the grandparents and escape to a nice hotel. After a delightful evening filled with eating, drinking, and some much-needed intimacy, you confirm the success of your romantic getaway with a positive pregnancy test six weeks later.
So there you have it! While navigating intimacy with young children can be a challenge, remember that some nights will lean toward sleep, while others may spark a bit of romance. And if you’re considering home insemination, check out resources like this one for more information. Additionally, for those interested in artificial insemination options, the authority on this topic can be found here. For insights into the IVF process, this resource can be incredibly helpful!
Summary:
This humorous piece highlights the challenges of finding time for intimacy after having babies. It illustrates the ups and downs of trying to reconnect with your partner amid the chaos of parenting, with relatable anecdotes and a lighthearted tone.