Once you welcome children into your life, your social landscape shifts dramatically. Adult outings often occur in the evening, but those early morning wake-ups and the need for a babysitter can make the idea of a wild night out seem less appealing. Here are 11 ways your social life has evolved since becoming a parent.
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You used to come home after a night of revelry, collapsing into bed with a grin. Now, after that same kind of night, you stumble home, awkwardly handing cash to the babysitter while trying to manage some tipsy small talk before collapsing into bed. The next morning? You still wonder where all your money went!
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Gone are the days of dinners with all your college friends. Now, playdates with just one friend who has kids the same age as yours take precedence. Sure, you weren’t that close, but you’re craving adult interaction—so you endure her endless pitches for a “business opportunity” that turns out to involve convincing friends to invest in a gerbil farm.
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Late-night concerts have been replaced by 11 a.m. kids’ concerts, which you secretly wish started even earlier. Moms need entertainment for their little ones at 8 a.m., after all, since they’ve been awake for hours!
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Your wardrobe has transformed too. You once planned out daring outfits for nights of dancing; now you find yourself taking out the trash in your underwear with hardly a second thought.
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Heartfelt conversations used to unfold on your friends’ futons, lasting for hours. Now, they’re rushed and distracted, taking place while kids are glued to their screens, and adults try to discreetly handle unexpected “gerbil burials” in the backyard.
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Texting your friends used to be about finding out which bar to hit up. Now, it’s a hunt for which playground everyone is at.
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Deciding to go out used to take mere seconds; now it involves checking calendars, clearing plans with your partner, getting a babysitter, and convincing yourself not to bail at the last minute.
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Instead of theater outings, you’re now front-row to the emotional theatrics of 11-year-olds who dramatically declare, “I’m GOING TO DIE!” if they can’t go to the pool right now.
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You’ve started brainstorming new mom-friendly social activities, like “paperwork bees,” where friends gather to help sort through applications, waivers, and health records.
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The latest restaurants and clubs? Forget it. Your new obsession is the hottest Netflix show currently streaming.
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While you may have lost touch with many casual friendships, your new social life, though often chaotic, feels richer and more connected to a sense of community than ever before. So, who’s up for a paperwork bee?
In summary, your social life undergoes significant changes after having kids, from the types of gatherings you attend to the friends you spend time with. While you may miss some aspects of your former life, the depth of your connections can become more meaningful in unexpected ways. For more on navigating family planning and fertility, check out this excellent resource.