Five Things Mothers Wish You (And I) Would Stop Doing

As mothers, we’re all in this together, and it’s important to support one another. Sometimes, that means pointing out behaviors that may annoy others in our parenting community. Here are five things that we, as moms, wish would come to a halt.

1. Stop Seeking Your Kids’ Approval

Phrases like “Are you okay with us going outside?” or “Can we take a shower now?” are common, but they can be counterproductive. We often don’t need our children’s consent for everyday decisions. If I were to constantly consider my kids’ opinions, I’d be stuck inside, letting my son play video games while my daughter demands pool time. Remember, as the parent, you’re in charge. Assert your authority and save the questions for when their input truly matters.

2. Avoid Speaking In the Third Person

When your baby is little, referring to yourself as “Mommy” or “Daddy” is useful for identification. However, once they hit toddler age, it’s time to drop that habit. Recently, I overheard a grown man say, “Daddy is going to make dinner,” to his 8-year-old. It’s not only confusing for the child, but it also undermines your identity. Your child should recognize you as more than just “dad” or “mom.”

3. Stop Making Empty Threats

Telling your child, “I’m going to take that toy away if you keep playing with it in the house,” without following through is ineffective. Kids can see right through insincerity. It’s better to remain silent than to repeatedly threaten without action. If you say you will take the toy, mean it. This teaches your kids that your words carry weight.

4. Don’t Shift Blame to Your Kids

I once visited a friend’s house at dinner time and noticed their kids were drinking juice and soda instead of water. When I pointed it out, the parent shrugged and said, “That’s what they want.” It’s not their fault if you stock sugary drinks. If you can’t say no when shopping, don’t bring them along, and certainly don’t blame them for their choices. Kids will drink water if it’s the only option available.

5. Don’t Cater to Their Picky Eating, Especially in Front of Others

I recently hosted a family gathering, and I received last-minute texts about dietary preferences for the kids. Instead of teaching them to be adaptable, you’re allowing them to dictate the terms. I have a picky eater too, but I prepare by giving her a snack before we arrive and reminding her to show gratitude for whatever is served. If she doesn’t like it, she can keep her opinions to herself.

These behaviors may have been familiar to me in the past, but they’re not conducive to a harmonious parenting experience. Let’s all work together to improve our parenting practices for the benefit of ourselves and our children.

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Summary

This article highlights five behaviors that moms often wish other parents would reconsider, such as seeking children’s permission, third-person self-reference, making empty threats, shifting blame, and indulging picky eating. By fostering healthier habits, we can support each other in our parenting journeys.