As an average-sized woman navigating life with a body that feels less than extraordinary, I often grapple with self-doubt. My figure has changed over the years—my breasts and backside aren’t what they used to be, and the stretch marks from my pregnancies tell a story of their own. But when a close friend announced she was getting boudoir photos taken for her 40th birthday, I felt a mix of horror and curiosity.
“I’ve always wanted to do this, and honestly, I’m not getting any younger,” she said. “The photos aren’t raunchy; they’re tasteful and beautiful. Plus, the photographer is a woman, so it feels safe and empowering.” Her confidence intrigued me, and I began to consider it for myself.
My body image has always been a challenge. As a teenager, I was self-conscious about my smaller chest. In my early 20s, I worried about a nonexistent potbelly. By the time I hit 30, after two pregnancies and major weight fluctuations, I felt like a mere shadow of my former self. Time flies, and I often regret not appreciating my younger body more. Why didn’t I embrace my 25-year-old self?
So, I decided to take the plunge. I reached out to the photographer, secured a booking, and told myself that even if it didn’t go well, I’d at least end up with a few photos that might never see the light of day.
On the day of the shoot, nerves hit me hard, like I was about to tackle a marathon. My stomach churned, and I struggled to eat breakfast. I kept reassuring myself: “You can do this.”
The makeup artist, who was around my age, helped ease my anxiety. Having done boudoir sessions herself, she offered me tips on poses and handed me a glass of wine, which I guzzled down, despite it being only 11 a.m. With her skillful touch, I transformed from casual to confident, sporting curled hair, false eyelashes, and bold makeup—definitely not my usual look. My friend was already busy with her own glam session, so there was no turning back now.
The studio resembled a chic bedroom, complete with a bed and dreamy light filtering through sheer curtains. I brought along a selection of lingerie, a couple of pairs of heels, and some comfortable tops. At first, I felt awkward posing in my underwear as the photographer and her assistant guided me into various positions—back arched, chin up, and other artistic but unfamiliar stances. However, after a couple of outfit changes, I began to loosen up. When they showed me a preview of one of the shots, I was taken aback; I actually looked stunning!
Once my session ended, I felt like a glamorous goddess. Sure, my body wasn’t perfect, but I realized I still had a spark. We celebrated our day with a delicious dinner and drinks, and I returned home, my false eyelashes tucked away in my wallet. I hadn’t mentioned the shoot to my husband or kids because part of me felt it was a personal gift, and if the results were disappointing, I could simply forget about them.
When the photographer sent me the final images, I was overwhelmed with emotion. I couldn’t believe it was me in those photos—still recognizable, yet transformed into something beautiful and artistic. Unsurprisingly, my husband was enamored by the pictures and expressed pride in my bravery to do something so empowering for myself. What truly made my heart swell, though, was when he said, “I’m just happy you finally see yourself the way I’ve always seen you.”
And he was right.
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In summary, getting boudoir photos taken was a transformative experience that allowed me to embrace my body, celebrate my femininity, and see myself through the lens of self-love.