As a parent of three—an energetic 6-month-old, a spirited 5-year-old, and a curious 7-year-old—I adore my children. However, let’s be honest; parenting can be a rollercoaster of emotions. Non-parents often approach me with questions about raising kids that are well-meaning but can sometimes be a tad frustrating. After years of the same inquiries, I’m ready to clear the air.
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“How do you juggle three kids?”
Did you think I’d burst into tears and confess that some days, it feels impossible? The transition from two to three felt like I was treading water when someone tossed me a baby. If you’re really wondering how I manage, the truth is—it’s not always pretty. Sometimes, I envision parking my minivan filled with loud kids on the side of the road and sprinting into the woods. So, how do I cope? Honestly, not very well. Is that what you wanted to hear? -
“Do your kids ever squabble?”
Seriously? Did you never argue with your siblings? My kids fight over everything, from toys to who gets to smell the other’s fart. Just last week, I had to intervene in a wrestling match over string cheese. Yes, my kids bicker. It’s a universal truth—when they’re not arguing, I suspect they’re plotting something mischievous. -
“Did you catch last night’s episode of Parks and Recreation?”
This may seem unrelated to parenting, but it is. I don’t control the TV anymore; my kids do. Last night, I was subjected to Yo-Gabba-Gabba, followed by Pokémon. If it doesn’t involve animation or a puppet, just assume I’m utterly clueless about it. -
“Why do your eyes look so tired? Did your kids keep you up?”
Yes, they did! I spent two hours last night changing wet sheets and searching for Mr. Bunny. Sometimes, I dream of setting Mr. Bunny on fire. If you see a parent who looks exhausted, just assume it’s because of the kids and let it be. -
“Do your kids ever talk back?”
Oh, absolutely not! My children are perfect little angels who always say please and thank you. Just kidding! My 5-year-old recently called me a “fart-face” for not letting her watch Netflix, while my 7-year-old told my wife she “sucked” for denying him an ice cream sandwich. I didn’t teach them to speak like that, but here we are. -
“What’s that stain on your shirt?”
Puke. It’s always puke. Tomorrow, I’ll probably have more of it on my clothes. If it’s a different color, it’s likely a combination of baby messes. Welcome to parenting! -
“I bet your home is full of love… right?”
Mostly, my house is overflowing with messes, strange odors, and sticky surfaces. However, when I walk in the door, my 7-year-old leaps into my arms, and it melts my heart. My 5-year-old loves to show off her latest dance moves, and the baby just kicks and giggles. It’s a chaotic but wonderful life.
What are some of the most ridiculous parenting questions you’ve encountered?
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In conclusion, parenting is filled with unique challenges and amusing questions. While some inquiries may seem silly, they often come from a place of curiosity and care.