Some days, I feel like I’ve nailed this whole parenting gig; other days, I can’t believe I was ever trusted to leave a hospital with a tiny human—let alone four of them. Today was definitely one of those latter days.
It’s been ages since I tackled the task of making beds—perhaps since the last ice age! With one queen-size bed, two sets of bunk beds, and a crib, let’s do the math: that’s 2 + 4, plus an army of pillow pets and 15 stray socks wedged in the nooks and crannies. Suffice it to say, there’s a lot of bedding involved!
I tend to dodge this chore like it’s an awkward family reunion. While I was carefully fluffing the bottom bunk for my 3-year-old, my 8-year-old piped up, “Mommy, can you make my bed too?”
“Of course, sweetheart! Yours is next!” I replied, feeling quite proud of myself for the next three minutes. That is, until I attempted to scale the top bunk, which felt like an expedition up Mount Everest. The ladder seemed to mock me, whispering, “Look at her, struggling to climb. Is she really going to slip again?”
When I finally reached the top, I was hit with a shocking sight: it was like a scene from a prison cell. There were no sheets—none! Just 15 books crammed under her pillow and a flimsy toddler bed pad sliced into three uneven sections. I felt like the worst parent ever.
“Ummm, how long have you been without sheets?” I asked, horrified.
“I don’t know. A while, I think,” she replied nonchalantly.
Curious, I prodded further, “Why are you sleeping on those thin pads? What happened?”
“I think it was when you were fixing the beds last time. You couldn’t finish? I don’t know. It was a while ago,” she answered.
Her memoir, titled “I Don’t Remember. It Was A While Ago,” would surely become a classic in the realm of parenting epic fails.
The only thing missing was a metal cup for her to clang against the bed guard. Meanwhile, the unused top bunk in my son’s room was decked out like a five-star hotel, complete with a double mattress, an eggshell mattress topper, sheets, two pillows, and a pile of blankets, all there for the invisible guest who surely needed a good night’s sleep.
I spent the next two hours wrestling with mattresses, fluffing pillows, and rearranging bedding. I tucked in corners, placing the softest sheets I could find on my poor daughter’s bed. How did I let this slide for weeks—no, months? Ah, yes, the ladder. A true nemesis.
Kisses were exchanged at the bottom of the bed, because no one puts baby in a corner—unless it’s the corner of an unmade prison cot in a bunk bed.
On the bright side, I walked away with newfound admiration for my daughter. This girl is the epitome of resilience. Not once did she complain about her lack of sheets or the uncomfortable mattress pads that probably drifted apart every night. All she did was kiss us goodnight and climb to her desolate bed.
The old fable says a princess could feel a pea under a mountain of mattresses, but I believe a true princess would do what my daughter did—give her family goodnight kisses and adapt to her circumstances.
So, in spite of my parenting blunders, we’ve got a genuine princess on our hands. I can only hope she marries into royalty someday; we could use some Egyptian cotton around here!
For more on home insemination and parenting, check out our blog post here. Also, if you’re looking for tips on fertility, this resource is quite useful. And for a comprehensive guide on pregnancy treatments, visit WebMD.
Summary:
In this amusing and relatable parenting tale, the author recounts the struggle of making beds for her children, revealing the chaos that ensued when she discovered her daughter’s top bunk was devoid of sheets. Through the humor, the author reflects on her daughter’s adaptability and resilience, ultimately celebrating her child’s princess-like qualities despite the messy circumstances.