A Guide to Identifying Sanctimommies in the Wild

SANCTIMOMMY, Noun

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A self-satisfied individual who flaunts their parenting choices through passive-aggressive remarks that highlight the shortcomings of fellow parents.
Synonyms: Know-it-all, Fun-Drainer, Pearl Clutcher, Pretentious Parent

Physical Traits:

While Sanctimommies can’t be identified by their looks—since their behavior transcends race, gender, religion, and social class—there are five common gestures that often accompany their presence:

1. Raised eyebrows
2. Puckered lips
3. Finger pointing
4. Loud sighs
5. Tensed muscles

Habitats:

Sanctimommies thrive in various environments where they can readily dispense their particular brand of unsolicited advice and self-promotion. Common locations include:

1. Parks
2. Playgroups
3. Grocery stores
4. Target (both parking lot and aisles)
5. Parenting websites (especially humor sites with comment sections)
6. Facebook
7. Daycares
8. Schools (notably during drop-off, pick-up, recitals, or open houses)
9. Birthday parties

Social Behaviors:

These individuals are drawn to the heart of group discussions, often steering conversations toward their own experiences and ideals. Here are five classic examples of their annoying conversational habits:

1. “You should feel SO BLESSED.”
2. “MY kids have never done this.”
3. “I didn’t even read the article; it’s just so dumb.”
4. “I have never experienced this, it’s ridiculous.”
5. “Ugh. This is idiotic.”

Topics likely to trigger a Sanctimommy’s outburst include:

1. Any parenting-related posts on the Internet.
2. Discussions about vaccines, organic foods, screen time, or sleep training.
3. Suggestions that parenting can be exhausting.
4. The act of hiring a babysitter.
5. Sentiments about missing the freedom of life before kids.
6. Comments that imply you don’t always feel SO BLESSED.
7. Jokes about having a wine break at 2 p.m.
8. A humorous take on the challenges of parenting.
9. Parenting philosophies that lack substantial backing.
10. Posting funny e-cards about parenthood on social media.

WARNING:

Approach Sanctimommies with caution. While they pose no physical threat, their reactions can be unpredictable if their beliefs are challenged. Watch for signs like self-righteousness, preaching, excessive use of ALL CAPS, and reliance on poorly constructed celebrity references.

This article was originally published on May 4, 2014.

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In summary, while Sanctimommies may be a common sight in the world of parenting, recognizing their behaviors can help you navigate conversations more smoothly. If you’re looking for more resources on pregnancy and home insemination, Rmany offers excellent information. For those interested in self-insemination, Cryobaby is a trusted authority on the topic.