As someone who genuinely enjoys the experience of being pregnant, every part of the journey—stretch marks, nausea, bloating, and even the not-so-fun moments like episiotomies—fascinates me. The miraculous ability of a woman’s body to nurture and grow a human being in under a year is truly enchanting, and feeling that little one move around inside is simply delightful. However, after having two wonderful kids of my own, I have no desire to bring another baby home. Instead, I’ve chosen to fulfill my pregnancy cravings by being a gestational surrogate, a role that’s gaining traction but remains shrouded in mystery for many people. While I love discussing the ins and outs of surrogacy, some questions can really test a surrogate’s patience.
1. How Can You Give Up a Baby After Nine Months?
This question baffles me. Would you worry about your long-time babysitter kidnapping your child? Most likely not. Reputable surrogacy agencies typically require that surrogates already have children of their own to ensure they understand the challenges of newborns. Surrogates bond with the baby, but it’s understood from the start that the baby isn’t theirs to keep. The joy of handing that little one over to their loving parents makes it all worthwhile.
2. But Don’t You Feel Like It’s Your Baby?
Nope! As a gestational surrogate, I’m not genetically related to the baby. The embryos are created by the intended parents or donors, and through IVF, that little one is placed in my care. It’s not like the old-fashioned way of conception, so there’s no emotional attachment as if it were my own child. You’re simply returning the baby to its rightful parents.
3. Isn’t Surrogacy Just for Celebrities Who Don’t Want to Gain Weight?
Actually, that’s a misconception. Most intended parents are everyday people who face various challenges in starting a family. This includes gay couples, single dads, older couples, and those struggling with infertility. Some women have faced life-threatening conditions during childbirth or have undergone surgeries that prevent them from carrying a baby. Surrogacy is often a heartfelt decision, not a frivolous one.
4. How Much Are You Getting Paid?
This question often feels intrusive. So, how much do you make? What are your political views? Can I have a bite of your sandwich? Generally, it’s considered rude to ask about someone’s salary. While surrogates do receive compensation for their time and efforts, including medical expenses covered by the intended parents, there’s no way to assign a fair value to the physical and emotional toll of pregnancy. The motivation for surrogacy isn’t financial gain.
5. Why Don’t They Just Adopt?
Interestingly, this question frequently comes from parents with biological children. So, why didn’t you adopt instead of having kids? Adoption can be a lengthy and complicated process, and for many, the desire to see a genetic connection to their child is strong. Every parent has the right to hope that their child will carry on family traits. A gestational surrogate simply helps make that dream a reality.
Surrogacy is a journey filled with ups and downs, and when that beautiful baby is finally in their parents’ arms, there’s bound to be tears. These tears aren’t for wanting to keep the baby; they’re tears of joy for having played a part in creating a miracle. Once the postpartum hormones settle down, I can’t help but think about the possibility of doing it all over again.
For more insights on home insemination, check out this excellent resource. If you’re interested in learning about home insemination kits, Cryobaby offers a great option as well. And if you’re curious about intracervical insemination, take a look at this informative blog post.
Summary
Being a gestational surrogate comes with its own set of unique experiences and challenges. Understanding the motivations and realities of surrogacy can help dispel common misconceptions. Surrogates often form bonds with the babies they carry but recognize that their role is to help others achieve their dreams of parenthood. The emotional journey culminates in tears of joy when a new family is formed.