8 Items in My Closet That I’ll Never Wear Again

self insemination kit

In a recent conversation with my daughter about the overwhelming clutter in her room, I decided it was time to take a stand against excess belongings. Armed with a garbage bag, I ventured into my own closet and was shocked by some of the relics I found there – from leopard-print halter tops to pleather pants. It was a real trip down memory lane, and here are eight pieces that were once staples in my wardrobe but will likely never see the light of day again.

1. High-Heeled Boots
   You know the ones – those knee-high, leather beauties that made me feel like a chic version of Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman. I used to wear them all the time – at work, during happy hour, and on first dates where I wanted to show off just enough without going overboard. I see plenty of moms still rocking this look, showing up at school pickup looking fabulous. However, after having my second child and squeezing my size 8 feet into size 7 shoes, wearing heels feels more like a horror film scene than a fashion statement. Of all the things I’ll miss, those high-heeled boots top the list.
2. Thong Underwear
   With a spirited toddler and a sassy kindergartner in the house, I think I’ve had enough pain in my rear. Comfy briefs are my new best friend. And let’s be honest—when one of my kids decides to pull up my skirt in public, I’d much rather not make a hasty exit while draped in a discount towel.
3. Miniskirts and Short Shorts
   There are plenty of women who can confidently wear these items. They’re tall, slender, and boast legs that could grace the covers of magazines. I was never one of those women, and after having kids, the thought of maintaining the necessary grooming is exhausting.
4. Earrings
   I used to adore dressing up with earrings, but with two kids in tow, finding time to do anything more than brush my hair is a challenge. Unfortunately, my left earring hole has closed up, rendering my once-loved collection useless. Re-piercing isn’t on my agenda—perhaps a trip to Claire’s with my daughter when she’s older will be more fitting. Alternatively, I could consider clip-ons.
5. Strapless Bras
   Long before my body felt the effects of gravity, pregnancy, and nursing, I disliked strapless bras. Now? Forget it! My girls require all the support they can get, and by the end of the day, my bra feels more like a torture device than anything supportive. No cute strapless dress will ever convince me to wear one again.
6. White Pants
   Once upon a time, I wore white pants with total confidence—even after Labor Day! Now, the very thought of them terrifies me. With markers, apple juice, and art projects lurking around every corner, I’ll need my kids to be off to college before I even consider white pants again—maybe even longer!
7. T-Shirts with Beer Logos
   These days, my six-year-old is trying to read everything, and I don’t need her stumbling upon a Heineken logo. I also don’t want to explain why the cartoon frogs on my Señor Frogs shirt from Cancun in 1994 look like they’re about to topple over. Time to retire that shirt.
8. Maternity Clothes
   I confess—there are a few maternity dresses I still try to pass off as cute “baby doll” styles. However, most of my maternity clothes just sit there, tempting me to admit I’m done having kids. I’ve accepted my family is complete, and if circumstances were to change unexpectedly, shopping for new clothes would be the least of my worries. But letting go of these items? That’s a hurdle.

As I reflect on the journey of motherhood, it’s clear my wardrobe has evolved. It’s time for my closet to reflect the more mature, slightly frazzled woman I’ve become and to part with those tanks I wouldn’t dare wear outside. Although, I may keep the pleather pants for a surprise date night or an unexpected showdown!

If you’re interested in learning more about home insemination, check out this excellent resource from March of Dimes, and for more information about at-home insemination kits, visit Make a Mom.

In conclusion, as I clear out my closet, I am embracing this new chapter of life with open arms and a more practical wardrobe.