By: Jamie Collins
When I was expecting my first child a decade ago, I approached pregnancy much like my college years: voraciously reading, attending classes, and engaging in discussions online. I was always a diligent learner and, naturally, I set out to ace “Motherhood 101.”
I meticulously attended birthing classes, toured the hospital, and dragged my partner to breastfeeding workshops. I washed all the baby clothes in hypoallergenic detergent and practiced my kegels. Then, I had my baby.
Suddenly, I found myself recovering in bed, feeling overwhelmed with bodily changes, stitches in unexpected places, and hormones fluctuating wildly. All I could think was, “Why didn’t anyone warn me about this?” The reality was, I didn’t want to hear it back then. I was focused solely on pregnancy and childbirth, blissfully unaware that those were just the beginning.
Here are ten things I wish someone had shared with me — and that I wish I had been open to hearing:
- The Birth Experience: When you first see or hold your baby, don’t be surprised if it’s not a cinematic moment filled with angelic music. You might be in discomfort, perhaps still undergoing medical procedures. It’s completely normal not to feel that immediate magical connection right away; those moments will come.
- Bathroom Adventures: Your first trip to the restroom after delivery can be quite the ordeal. Don’t hesitate to ask for help; your dignity may take a backseat for a while. It’s just the start of many humbling experiences as a parent!
- Breastfeeding Challenges: Breastfeeding can be quite challenging at first. It may take time to find the right position for you and your little one, and it can hurt initially. If it doesn’t work out, remember that your bond with your baby is what truly matters.
- Emotional Rollercoaster: Expect to feel a wave of emotions, especially around day four postpartum. It’s common to feel overwhelmed and cry for no reason. It’s okay to feel this way — but if these feelings persist, seek help.
- Pajama Life: If you can, stay in your pajamas for the first couple of weeks. As soon as you dress in real clothes, people might expect you to be functioning at full capacity. Embrace the comfy attire and save the chores for later.
- Sleep Patterns: Babies don’t always sleep as we hope. This doesn’t mean you’re failing as a parent. Every baby is unique, and some will sleep better than others. Rest assured, they will eventually find their sleep rhythms.
- Trust Yourself: Don’t let anyone convince you that you don’t know your baby best. There are many ways to be a good parent, and what worked for one may not work for another. Follow your instincts.
- Seek Community: Connecting with other new moms can be a vital source of support. Whether through breastfeeding groups or neighborhood meet-ups, having a network of fellow parents can help you navigate this new journey together.
- Avoid Martyrdom: Don’t feel like you need to do everything alone. Accept help from friends or hire someone when you can. It’s perfectly acceptable to admit that parenting is tough sometimes.
- Capture the Moments: Take plenty of pictures, and make sure you’re in them! You’ll want to remember these fleeting moments, even when they feel overwhelming at the time.
Above all, I wish I had known that the first year of motherhood would be unlike anything I would ever experience again, no matter how many kids I had. Every day is a miracle and a journey. Although it may feel overwhelming, know that you are forever changed, and many lessons can only be learned through experience. For more information on pregnancy and home insemination, check out this excellent resource. If you are considering methods for at-home insemination, visit BabyMaker for comprehensive guidance. For further insights, including terms and conditions, explore our blog post.
Summary: Motherhood is a transformative journey filled with unexpected challenges and joys. From navigating the realities of birth to embracing the chaos of parenting, every moment is unique. Surround yourself with support, trust your intuition, and don’t hesitate to capture the memories along the way.