- You find yourself reminding coworkers and friends to say “please” and “thank you.”
- You instinctively chop your meals into tiny bits.
- You hum “Clean up, clean up, everybody everywhere…” while scrubbing dishes.
- You would trade just about anything for a shiny, fully loaded minivan.
- A thrilling Saturday night means a solo trip to Target.
- You’ve attempted to re-roll a completely unraveled roll of toilet paper.
- You’ve faced the dilemma of choosing between an extra ten minutes of sleep and going a day without a shower.
- Staying up until 10 PM feels like a late night adventure.
- Sleeping in until 8 AM seems like an extravagant luxury.
- You spell out words to others even when there are no K-I-D-S in sight to hear you talking S-H-I-T.
- You’ve had in-depth conversations about poop as if you were on a forensic investigation.
- You’ve hidden in a closet to savor a cookie or enjoy a glass of wine in peace.
- You automatically congratulate your partner on a successful trip to the bathroom.
- You’ve used your fingers to wipe something off someone else’s face—yep, even your boss.
- You believe it’s perfectly acceptable to give kids a cheeky gesture when they’re not looking.
- You’ve had to scoop vomit out of your bra.
- You’ve walked around all day with remnants of barf on your back.
- There’s more food under your kitchen table than on it.
- You’ve removed things from someone else’s nose that weren’t just boogers.
- If you and your partner feel more like wrestling teammates or zookeepers than romantic partners, you might be a parent.
- You consider shaving your legs every other week as frequent grooming.
- Other drivers have caught you belting out “Hakuna Matata” at a stoplight.
- The top rack of your dishwasher is filled with colorful plastic items, leaving no space for glasses.
- You can maintain an enthusiastic, one-sided dialogue with something that can’t respond.
Could you possibly be a parent?
For more insights on parenting and home insemination, check out this related post on home insemination kits. If you’re exploring options for starting a family, you can find valuable information at Cryobaby’s at-home insemination kit, and for comprehensive knowledge on pregnancy, visit the CDC’s ART resource.
In summary, being a parent comes with a unique mix of challenges and hilarious moments. From the little things you do, like correcting manners and deciphering toddler language, to the absurd situations you find yourself in, these experiences shape the parenting journey in ways that are both rewarding and, at times, downright funny.