After the birth of my daughter, I noticed that alcohol began to make me feel quite the opposite of good. I was never a heavy drinker, but throughout college and my early adult years, I consumed about the same amount as most of my peers. While I never had a profound love for drinking, I did find enjoyment in it.
During my pregnancy, I abstained from alcohol completely. Once my daughter arrived and I started having an occasional glass of wine or beer again, I quickly realized I had developed a remarkably low tolerance. Just half a glass of wine would hit me like a ton of bricks—definitely not in a good way.
Alcohol affects me in a variety of ways. Unlike many, it doesn’t make me feel sociable or merry. Instead, I tend to become argumentative, a trait that was likely amplified by attending law school. Alcohol seems to turn me into a confrontational version of myself, which isn’t the best way to engage with others.
Additionally, I find that I become less discreet after a drink. I say things I normally wouldn’t, become less tactful, and tend to gossip more. The next day, the effects linger on, often leaving me anxious and remorseful. I would wonder, “Was I really that obnoxious?” I would turn to my partner, Jake, seeking reassurance about my behavior, questioning whether my feelings of belligerence and indiscretion were all in my head.
Ultimately, the negative feelings I experienced far outweighed any enjoyment I got from drinking. Truthfully, I never really enjoyed it that much. I lack the ability to discern a fine wine from a mediocre one, and hard liquor has always been off the table for me. Plus, I resented the calories in alcohol that I would have preferred as dessert.
It became clear to me: this was not a fulfilling situation. Drinking seemed to bring joy to others, but for me, it was just a source of discomfort. I realized I would rather skip the drink, avoid the regret, and save those calories for something I truly cherished.
I’m not suggesting that my choice would work for everyone. I appreciate the joy that others find in drinking (except when they start talking too much about fine wines). I enjoy the celebratory atmosphere around cocktails and admire the enthusiasm some people have for drinks. While researching various topics, I even found myself vicariously enjoying the tales of Winston Churchill and his affinity for liquor—though it’s worth noting he drank less than most assume.
One of the most significant lessons I’ve learned is that just because something is enjoyable for someone else doesn’t mean it will be for me—and vice versa. Since reducing my alcohol intake, I’ve found I’m happier and behave better. After a night out, I return home without the burden of regret and worry about my actions. I feel refreshed instead of exhausted, making for a far more pleasant experience.
Reflecting on my journey to stop drinking, I wonder why it took me so long to reach this conclusion. Why was it challenging for me to recognize that I wasn’t having fun? In hindsight, I could have taken the opposite approach—by drinking more to build my tolerance—but for me, it was simpler to stop drinking altogether.
I do still enjoy a glass of wine or champagne at special occasions or occasionally indulge in a beer. I drink only what I feel like, which, now that I’ve realized alcohol doesn’t suit me, is not much at all.
Sometimes, I grapple with feelings of regret about my low alcohol consumption. Why do I feel so restrained while others seem to be having a blast? Then I remind myself—it simply isn’t enjoyable for me.
It’s striking to think about how long it took me to come to this realization. Why is it so hard to “be myself”? Recognizing what genuinely makes me happy can be a challenge, but it’s a crucial part of the journey.
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In summary, my decision to stop drinking was a personal choice that led to greater happiness and clarity in my life. Recognizing that drinking wasn’t contributing positively to my experiences helped me to embrace a lifestyle that aligns better with my true self.