“Ugh, I can’t invite you over,” other moms often say. “My place is such a disaster.” As soon as I arrive for a playdate, the first thing they exclaim is, “Please don’t judge me! My house is a total wreck. Seriously, it’s embarrassing.”
But let’s be real.
When I step into the home of that apologetic mom, with her claims about the chaos in her kitchen or the scattered toys in the living room, I’m faced with an internal struggle: Should I laugh or just shake my head? Girl, please. Your house isn’t just clean; it’s pristine! Guest towels are neatly arranged, toys are confined to a rug that isn’t even crumby, and sippy cups? They stay in the kitchen. If you think your home is messy, then you clearly have a skewed perception of reality, a touch of mom guilt, or maybe just a need for some encouragement. Probably all of the above. Seriously, let’s get real. You can either embrace a sense of shame or embrace the chaos that comes with having kids. Trust me, I have three little boys under the age of five, and I get it.
So, to all the mamas out there who claim their immaculate homes are messy, and to those who avoid hosting due to the pressure of perfection, let’s establish some ground rules.
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There’s at least one room in your house that’s perpetually cluttered and messy—think of it as your own personal “Lady Macbeth” corner, forever stained with chaos.
For me, it’s the dining room, home to my great-grandmother’s cherry dining set. The table is where I sew and store art supplies—seriously, it’s like an A.C. Moore exploded in there. Cleanliness? Not a chance. I tidy it up for special occasions, but otherwise, it’s off-limits to prying eyes.
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Laundry is a constant presence.
Current tally at my house: five clean baskets blocking the fridge, one in the master bedroom, a load in the dryer, and another in the washer. No dirty clothes in sight? We’re laundry heroes this week! Will those baskets ever make it to the folding stage? Who knows? I have a relative who once hid her kids’ Christmas gift—a snake—under laundry baskets for two weeks. Now that’s dedication!
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Dishes are piled high everywhere.
Your sink, your dishwasher, your table—full of dishes, and somehow, you’re left hunting for a clean spoon. When you resort to using a teaspoon for cereal, it’s time for a load.
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Bath toys are left right where the kids dropped them.
Don’t even think about closing that shower curtain—we all know what lurks behind it.
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Toys are scattered throughout the house.
No matter how hard you try, some pieces will always elude you. I’ve found ball pit balls in the most bizarre places: my washer, my front yard, and even stuffed between car seats. If I see plastic action figures in your bathroom, I won’t judge.
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You have cups—everywhere.
Somehow, we survived without constant hydration as kids, but now my kids need a cup of juice at all times. They leave them all over the house and then ask, “Is this good, Mama?” before taking a sip.
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Art Damage is a way of life.
My bathtub is stained with tie-dye remnants, and I’ve given up on the kitchen wall after a toddler painting session. You’ve got pen marks on the wall too, don’t deny it.
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Your car is a disaster zone.
Where else do you stash fast-food cups, spare diapers, or that forgotten sippy cup?
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You completely forgot trash day again.
Your garbage can is overflowing, and the recycling bin looks like it belongs to a hoarder, but hey, you just forgot to take it out. As long as you got the trash out of the house, you’re winning!
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Dust? What’s that?
You may not have dusted since your parents last visited, and that’s okay. Just don’t peek at the upper shelves!
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There’s at least one part of your house that’s been in disrepair longer than you care to admit.
My oldest son has never seen us use our master shower. He’s four! I thought I was alone until I confided in other moms, and two admitted to unusable bathrooms. Turns out, we’re all in this together.
So there you have it! Either your home is cleaner than you’re willing to admit, or you can accept the reality of the delightful chaos that comes with parenting. Let’s stop the apologies and start the playdates, shall we? I promise I won’t peek into your dining room if you don’t peek into mine.
For more on navigating the motherhood journey, check out this post on infertility resources and see how you can use an at-home insemination kit to help your family grow. And if you’re interested in understanding more about privacy while embracing this journey, don’t forget to review our privacy policy for important information.