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The Bright Side Ahead
Five years ago, I found myself sitting on my therapist’s couch, feeling utterly overwhelmed. “I feel like I’m struggling just to stay afloat,” I confessed. At that time, I was juggling four kids in different schools, which meant endless back-to-school nights, numerous teacher conferences, and multiple drop-off and pick-up locations. To top it off, I had just started a new full-time job from home and was navigating a challenging divorce.
You can imagine the anxiety I must have radiated as I clutched a throw pillow on her couch, venting my frustrations. In her signature calm tone, she suggested that I create a chart outlining how my life would change over the next five years. “You need to visualize how much easier it will become,” she encouraged.
Taking her advice to heart, I went home and mapped it out. To my surprise, the future looked promising. I realized that soon, one child would be off to college, followed by another the next year. My third child would enter high school, and my youngest would transition to middle school, just a short walk from home. By the time the five years passed, I would have three teenagers with their driver’s licenses, and my youngest would be nearing 12. Looking at it in writing made it seem distant yet achievable.
Fast forward to now, and I can hardly believe how much my life has transformed. My daughter is now a senior in high school, often busy with her multiple jobs or hanging out with friends, while my youngest is engaged in various sports. It’s mostly just me and the cat at home these days. Five years ago, I couldn’t have imagined the changes that lay ahead. My life, once filled with 60-hour work weeks, college applications, and endless errands, has shifted to evenings of wine and binge-watching my favorite shows instead of cooking dinner.
But here’s the bittersweet twist: as I look ahead to the next five years, I can see that my dependence on my children will diminish even more. Soon, the only being requiring my attention may be the cat, if she’s still around. I’ll have three college graduates (fingers crossed), and my youngest will be driving and a junior in high school. The thought of my oldest turning 27 feels surreal.
Unlike five years ago, when thinking about future changes brought me relief, now it stirs a sense of nostalgia. I find myself yearning for those chaotic days, even if I don’t want to relive the challenge of having three teenagers at home. Back then, it felt like those demanding moments would never end. The endless cycle of face-wiping, errand-running, and chauffeuring could easily make one feel trapped. Now, it’s all vanished in the blink of an eye.
To all you moms out there, I see you. I know those moments when your kids seem unbearable, when bedtime battles make you feel like you’re the worst parent ever. You may wish for the days when they’re independent. But trust me, there will come a time when you’ll miss those little “monsters.” You’ll long for the days of driving them to toy stores or enduring their complaints about dinner. You’ll reminisce about the chaos and the little moments that seemed so trying.
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In summary, while parenting can be a whirlwind of challenges, it’s essential to cherish the fleeting moments and embrace the changes ahead. As the years pass, the chaos may fade, but the memories will linger.