As a parent of three—an infant, a 5-year-old, and a 7-year-old—I adore my little ones. However, let’s be honest: parenting can sometimes leave you feeling a bit frazzled. Non-parents often approach me with well-meaning inquiries about child-rearing. While I typically respond politely, I’ve grown increasingly exasperated by the same questions over time. So, let’s clarify a few things…
- “How do you handle three kids?” What exactly were you expecting? A heartfelt confession of how I sometimes feel overwhelmed? The transition from two to three kids felt like I was already treading water when someone tossed me a baby! There are days when I wish I could just park my minivan filled with noisy children on the side of the road and escape into the woods. So, how do I manage? Honestly, not very well. Is that the answer you wanted?
- “Do your kids ever argue?” Really? Did you have a sibling? My kids bicker over everything! Just last week, I had to intervene in a wrestling match because my daughter wanted to smell my son’s fart. The week before, they were at it over a piece of string cheese. Yes, they squabble. Every kid does. When they’re not fighting, I suspect they’re concocting some sort of mischief.
- “Did you catch last night’s episode of Parks and Recreation?” This might not seem like a parenting question, but it is! I have zero control over the TV now; my kids are in charge. Last night, my entertainment consisted of “Yo Gabba Gabba,” followed by “Pokémon.” If it’s not animated or featuring a puppet, just assume I haven’t seen it.
- “Why do your eyes look so tired? Did the kids keep you up?” Yes! They did! I spent two hours last night changing wet sheets and hunting down Bun Bun. Ugh… sometimes I wish I could just set Bun Bun on fire! If you see a parent who looks exhausted, just assume the kids are to blame and spare us the questions.
- “Do your kids talk back?” Oh, absolutely! My kids are perfect little angels who always say “please” and “thank you.” Just kidding! My 5-year-old called me a “fart face” the other day because I wouldn’t let her watch Netflix. And my 7-year-old told my wife she “sucked” for denying him an ice cream sandwich. I didn’t teach them that language, but here we are.
- “What’s that stain on your shirt?” Puke. It’s always puke. Tomorrow, I’ll probably have another stain on my clothes, too. If it’s anything other than white, it’s likely a mix of baby-related messes. I have an infant; it comes with the territory!
- “I bet your home is filled with love, right?” Mostly, it’s a chaotic mix of poop, boogers, and mysterious wet spots. I can’t explain all the smells, and the table is usually sticky. But yes, when I walk through the door, my 7-year-old leaps into my arms, which is just the best. My 5-year-old loves to show off her newest dance move, and my baby kicks her legs and squeals. It’s all quite adorable amidst the chaos.
What are the most ridiculous questions you’ve faced about parenting?
If you’re interested in learning more about fertility treatments and planning for a baby, check out this excellent resource for pregnancy and home insemination at March of Dimes. For those curious about home insemination kits, Make A Mom is a great authority on the topic.
In case you want to dive deeper into privacy matters, feel free to take a look at our other blog post on privacy policies.
In summary, parenting is filled with challenges and a fair amount of chaos, often accompanied by silly questions from well-meaning non-parents. Despite the mess and fatigue, there are heartwarming moments that make it all worthwhile.