Pregnancy is a beautiful journey, but for some women, it can also be incredibly challenging. Approximately 3% of women experience hyperemesis gravidarum (HG), a condition characterized by extreme nausea and vomiting, while many others grapple with severe morning sickness. As someone who endured HG during all four of my pregnancies, each with its own set of challenges, I can attest that this is not your typical morning sickness. It’s a whole different experience, and I wouldn’t wish it upon anyone.
Unfortunately, many people are unaware of what HG truly entails, often viewing it as mere exaggeration. I was relieved when a public figure like Duchess Kate Middleton was hospitalized for HG, hoping it might shed some light on this condition, but there are still plenty of insensitive remarks made by well-meaning friends and family. If only I could have vomited on them for their ignorance! Here are ten phrases that are best left unsaid:
- “Have you tried eating crackers before getting out of bed?”
Wow, what a novel idea! If only I had the energy or the ability to keep anything down, maybe I’d consider it! - “Being really sick means your baby is healthy.”
Not quite! Just because I’m feeling miserable doesn’t necessarily correlate with my baby’s health. - “If you’re really sick, it’s a girl!”
Having had HG with four boys, this one doesn’t hold up for me—at all. - “You’ll forget all of this once the baby arrives!”
While there may be some truth to that, it’s hard to forget the agony of being bedridden. I even had my husband snap a picture of me during my last pregnancy to remind me just how tough it was! - “You can’t lose weight while pregnant and still have a healthy baby.”
Actually, you can. The body works in mysterious ways, and during the brief moments I could eat, I gained weight fast! - “If you don’t eat, your baby won’t grow.”
The human body is remarkable. It can utilize stored fat and muscle to nurture a developing baby, even on a diet of popsicles. - “It never lasts the entire nine months; you’ll feel better soon.”
That’s a myth. Trust me, the last few weeks can be just as challenging as the beginning. - “The medication you’re taking for nausea isn’t safe for you or the baby.”
Modern medicine and my healthy kids say otherwise! - “Are you enjoying your pregnancy? Isn’t it wonderful?”
Absolutely! Who wouldn’t enjoy being bedridden, weak, and unable to care for themselves or their other children?
So, what can you say to someone struggling through this? Simply ask, “How can I help?” Be ready to assist in any way they need, whether it’s picking up a variety of sports drinks or cooking simple, bland foods until they find something palatable. Remind them that this phase will eventually pass, and the reward will be a beautiful new baby.
For more information on navigating the complexities of pregnancy, check out this excellent resource on in vitro fertilisation and explore how to support someone on their journey at Make a Mom. If you’re seeking additional insights, you can also read about intracervical insemination in our other blog posts.
In summary, while pregnancy can be a miraculous experience, it’s essential to approach those suffering from severe sickness with understanding and support. Offering to help can make a world of difference during a challenging time.