- Start preparing your toddler for the car journey about two hours ahead by introducing the idea of getting dressed.
- Choose some fun clothing items and approach your little one slowly, making the process sound exciting.
- Your toddler suddenly recalls the joys of playing hide and seek.
- Use the Love and Logic technique by offering your toddler a choice: they can either come to you for a smooth dressing or you can come to them for a less gentle approach.
- Realize that coming up with good choices for Love and Logic is trickier than it sounds.
- Your toddler then remembers the colorful band-aid their sibling received three weeks ago.
- They start to search their body for any potential owies.
- After intense scrutiny, your toddler finds a tiny redness on their finger after squeezing it a bit too hard.
- With great conviction, they declare that they need a rainbow band-aid for their “injured” finger.
- You remind yourself of your commitment to being a reasonable parent and assert, “You don’t really need a band-aid right now.”
- Your toddler launches into the Rainbow Band-aid Campaign, which is loud, persistent, and quite effective.
- You begin to feel overwhelmed and lose your sense of resolve.
- Before you know it, your toddler emerges from the bathroom wearing 15 different band-aids on various body parts.
- You convince yourself this is an adorable display of independence.
- Suddenly, your toddler announces they are now a puppy and starts to bark.
- Excitedly, you remember puppies are obedient; you instruct your “puppy” to get dressed.
- Your toddler loves this game and is almost fully dressed until they complain that their shirt feels too heavy.
- They decide to remove all their clothing in protest.
- You engage in a wrestling match to get them dressed, and both of you end up in tears.
- With your bag ready, you head toward the stairs.
- You recall that your toddler didn’t want to be carried yesterday.
- When you reach the top of the stairs, your toddler suddenly claims their legs have stopped working.
- They start crying because you’re not carrying them, prompting you to lift them up.
- Your toddler remembers how much they adore ice cream and Grandma, insisting they want both right now.
- You gently explain that ice cream isn’t a breakfast food and Grandma lives far away.
- They respond by declaring you’re in big trouble, threatening a timeout.
- You feel a twinge of fear but quickly remind yourself that you have only five minutes left to get into the car and that grown-ups shouldn’t fear two-year-olds.
- As you pick up your toddler to carry them down the stairs, they suddenly feel like your arms are a thousand tiny knives stabbing their independence.
- Eventually, your toddler insists on walking to the car independently but does so with indignation.
- Upon reaching the car, they want to climb in alone.
- The muddy car prompts you to scoop up your screaming, wriggling toddler and strap them into their car seat while dodging their flailing limbs.
- By the time you reach the driver’s seat, the tears have miraculously stopped.
- Your toddler then declares they are a Baby Mermaid and demands compliments about their shiny tail.
- Next, they inquire about how cats function.
- Suddenly, the sunlight streaming through the window becomes blinding, and they need you to sing “The Wheels on the Bus.”
- You start singing, only to be met with commands to stop, leaving your toddler very upset.
- You place your head on the steering wheel, feeling the tension of motherhood weighing down on you.
- You realize that you’ve just conquered an epic journey of monumental proportions and somehow managed to get your toddler into the car.
For more tips on navigating the challenges of parenting, check out our post on how to take a toddler grocery shopping in 100 easy steps.
Summary
This humorous guide explores the chaotic yet relatable experience of getting a toddler into a car. It highlights the trials and tribulations parents face, from dressing struggles to imaginative distractions, all while maintaining a lighthearted tone.