As far as I’m concerned, there’s one fundamental guideline for adults involved in kids’ organized sports: Don’t be a jerk.
With Little League season in full swing, it’s become apparent that many spectators and coaches either need a refresher on this rule or a complete introduction. To help clarify appropriate behavior, I’ve created this handy quiz:
- A 7-year-old from the opposing team steps up to bat and strikes out. You pump your fist and shout, “YES!” Are you the pitching machine’s inventor? Do you own stock in the company that makes it? If not, congratulations, you’re a jerk.
- Your team’s shortstop just missed catching the ball. Did you yell, “WHAT WERE YOU THINKING, TOMMY?” to the 6-year-old? Yep, that makes you a jerk. (And if Tommy is 12, you’re still a jerk.)
- Did your 9-year-old cheer when the opposing team’s goalie got hit in the face? You guessed it—you’re a jerk. If your child is acting this way, they likely picked it up from you. The world has enough jerks; let’s not create more.
- An 8-year-old from the other team is up to bat, and you’re sitting just a few feet away. Are you trying to distract him by saying, “Look, the ice cream truck is here!”? If so, you’re a jerk.
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While driving home from your 10-year-old’s game, did you say any of the following to them?
- “What were you thinking with that last play?”
- “Liam really needs to quit baseball; he’s dragging down the whole team.”
- “That referee was blind; you were definitely safe.”
If yes, congratulations—you’re a jerk.
- Your daughter’s best friend hits a grand slam while playing against your team. Did you congratulate her when she crossed home plate? If not, you’re a jerk.
- During your son’s 7-year-old lacrosse game, are you pacing the sidelines like you’re waiting for some life-changing news? If so, you’re a jerk.
- Your child’s coach instructs them to “throw it to second!” Did you yell for them to “throw it home!”? If so, you guessed it—you’re a jerk.
- A 7-year-old second baseman falls while trying to catch a ball. Are you arguing with the umpire that it was obstruction? Yep, you’re a jerk.
- Have you ever said, “Things are about to get crazy!” during a peewee football game or shouted “Get some glasses!” at a referee? If yes, you’re a jerk.
- Have you been banned from coaching or thrown out of a game? If so, you’re a jerk.
Seriously, folks, if you can’t manage your jerkish tendencies, it might be best to stay home. Remember, it’s just a game and these are kids. Life is too short for this nonsense.
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In conclusion, let’s all strive to be better role models for our kids in sports.