One day, my 13-year-old daughter, Mia, proposed an intriguing idea. “If you give me $100, I’ll take care of all my expenses for the entire school year.” This concept was inspired by her cousin, who is known for being frugal.
“What does ‘everything’ entail?” I inquired.
Her father chimed in, “Why not draft a proposal?” With that, Mia grabbed a pen, imagining all the possibilities that a crisp $100 bill could bring.
I hesitated, mainly because I was reluctant to part with a single sum of $100. However, I quickly realized that her plan might actually benefit our family financially in the long run. At 13, Mia was eager for independence; she didn’t want my help with her coat, hair, or tidying her room. She longed to choose her bedtime, her outfits, and even her school lunches — and heaven forbid I suggest a new hairstyle.
As she approached high school, college, budgeting, and potentially motherhood, I saw this $100 allowance as a stepping stone toward her independence.
Mia’s written proposal was extensive, covering all clothing, shoes, movies, food, sports events, and birthday gifts for friends. I had my doubts, thinking there was no way $100 could cover all of that. But she was adamant and handed me a pen. I signed.
September Spending:
- $20 on school supplies, which included a splurge on multi-colored pens
- A $5 shirt from a popular store
- Two lip glosses for $7
- A pair of wedge shoes for $30
I wish I could say I kept my opinions to myself about the wedge shoes, but I couldn’t help but gasp at the $30 price tag. Mia was annoyed, reminding me that she was using her own money and I should let her enjoy it. I apologized and promised to hold my tongue. Within half an hour, however, she was back, filled with buyer’s remorse, and returned the shoes.
I constantly reminded myself: this was her experience, her lesson to learn.
September felt like a blissful honeymoon phase; Mia enjoyed the newfound freedom of spending her money. She indulged in candy bars, snagged a pair of discount jeans, and even rewarded her siblings for running errands.
By October 1st, she had splurged on a stylish, shiny blue coat for $40. And just like that, her dream started to crumble.
By October 2nd, she realized she was broke.
On October 5th, she nervously declared, “I think we need to reevaluate my budget.” I smiled, knowing I didn’t need to say a word. The agreement was signed, and there was no room for negotiation. That’s when she got resourceful. While I was dropping off her younger siblings, she’d shout, “Can you find out if I can babysit?” After doing chores, she’d ask, “Can I get paid for that?”
With the holidays approaching, a school dance on the horizon, and new shoes needed for spring sports, she began calculating her finances. She started saving any loose change, practiced the piano more diligently to earn money from Grandma, and even accepted babysitting gigs she previously would have turned down.
This whole experience was enlightening for me too. I enjoy shopping for my kids, hunting for sales, and picking out clothes. But after giving Mia her allowance, I had to resist the urge to swoop in and save the day, knowing it would undermine her learning experience. I did buy her a Chapstick one day; she squealed with delight, hugging me tightly.
While the story doesn’t end here, I witnessed Mia managing her money more responsibly within just a month. There were no more pleas for clothing; she was self-sufficient and grateful for what her parents provided her.
Interestingly, her three younger siblings now want a $100 allowance as well. Instead of being annoyed, I found myself smiling, realizing it could mean more spending money for me!
A Recommended Plan:
- Clarify expectations: Define who will pay for what (kids often do well paying for “extra” or “fun” items)
- Help your child create lists of needs versus wants and discuss what belongs where
- Assist them in making a personal budget and write it down
- Sign the agreement together
- Maintain a simple ledger or spreadsheet to track money in and out
- Avoid purchasing items for them or bailing them out!
Mia hasn’t taken me up on my offer to pay her for weeding the garden or shoveling the chicken coop, but I’ll keep my mouth shut. I know that when she really needs the money, she’ll ask for work.
My mother used to say chores build self-esteem, a sentiment I didn’t appreciate at 14. But now, I see the empowerment in Mia’s eyes when she earns what she truly desires. It’s a feeling akin to happiness.
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Summary:
Mia’s journey with her $100 allowance led to valuable lessons in budgeting and independence. After an initial exciting spending spree, she learned to manage her finances responsibly, discovering the importance of saving and planning. This experience not only empowered her but also inspired her younger siblings to seek similar allowances.