As soon as you find out you’re pregnant or become a new parent, friends and family are quick to shower you with unsolicited advice. You’ll hear gems like “Savor every moment” or “Sleep when the baby sleeps.” Seriously? While I may not have all the answers, I do have a crucial piece of advice for new moms: avoid being that know-it-all mom.
I see you, Overly Organized New Mom. You’re just like I was—immersed in research, making lists, and believing that all this prep will equip you to handle anything your baby throws at you. But trust me, as a worn-out mother of five, you’re setting yourself up for chaos. Whether you have one child or a whole brood, remember: you don’t want to be the expert.
My First Experience as a New Mom
Let’s rewind to my first experience as a new mom. My husband and I were adjusting to life with our adorable baby boy. He had two weeks off work, but I took the reins on caring for our little one, feeling confident thanks to all the parenting books I’d devoured.
I would change, burp, and feed him, making decisions about his daily routine. If my husband dared to pick him up, I’d chime in with my “helpful” advice on how to hold him or soothe him. And if he started crying? I’d insist he hand him back to me.
A Typical Saturday
Fast forward to last Saturday at our house. I woke up early and set out breakfast, believing only I could manage what the kids would eat that day. I dictated their outfits for soccer practice, even though they’d been playing for months. As I tied their shoelaces, my husband lounged with his iPad, completely out of the loop. I handed him the bag with spare clothes and snacks while juggling a barrage of questions from the kids. By 9 a.m., I was utterly drained from the endless planning and decision-making.
Later, my “downtime hour” was consumed with responding to emails from schools, coaches, and PTA members, all starting with “Just a friendly reminder!” I was also juggling birthday party invitations and researching summer camps. Meanwhile, the kids were glued to the TV, leaving me feeling guilty. And what was my husband doing? Downloading music onto his iPod!
As dinner time rolled around, I had to order our usual Saturday night pizza—a task I had assigned to my husband. Despite ordering the same pizza from the same restaurant for six years (that’s about 336 times!), he still waited for me to tell him what to do because I had conditioned him not to make decisions regarding the kids.
Finding Balance
So, who would you prefer to be? The overworked call center or the fun parent who gets to enjoy time with the kids? If you’re not careful, you might find yourself in the same boat I did.
When that baby arrived, I told my husband to step aside and let me take charge. I discouraged him from making decisions, and now he’s been trained to wait for my instructions.
Stop this cycle! Embrace the messiness—stains, mismatched outfits, missed naps, and the occasional TV time while Dad enjoys a drink. Let your partner step in and do things his way, even if it’s imperfect. You might find you can actually enjoy a moment of peace. And when you return home, resist the urge to criticize if you spot a little spit-up on the carpet!
I’m working on changing my ways, but it might be too late for me. I hope to save you from making the same mistakes. Trust me, you’ll be grateful in the long run.
Additional Resources
For more insights on home insemination, check out this post. Additionally, MakeAMom offers excellent resources for home insemination kits, while News Medical is a great place for reliable information on pregnancy and home insemination.
Summary
Navigating motherhood can be overwhelming, especially when you feel the need to control every aspect of your child’s life. This article emphasizes the importance of stepping back and allowing your partner to take part, even if it means embracing a bit of chaos. By doing so, you can enjoy a more balanced and fulfilling parenting experience.