Last night, my partner and I made the classic error of stepping out after dinner. If you’re a parent of young ones, especially those who thrive on a routine, you know that venturing out post-dinner is rarely a good idea—I’d say it’s a mistake about 99.9% of the time.
So, as it goes, things didn’t unfold as expected, and we found ourselves racing home after bedtime—a perfect recipe for our own little chaos extravaganza. Here are the stages we endured:
Stage 1: Wild Antics
This typically kicks off in the car ride home. The kids are bursting with energy, singing, laughing, and occasionally screaming. Last night’s entertainment was a game of fake crying. They’d wail until we jumped in concern, “What’s the matter?” and then burst into giggles. Everything feels delightful while you’re still out. You might even be smiling to yourself in the front seat, taking deep breaths to drown out the joyful chaos in the back. But once you cross that threshold into your home, brace yourself for…
Stage 2: Pure Denial
They’re acutely aware that bath time, pajama changes, or teeth brushing are imminent, so they opt to ignore you entirely. Your gentle nudges to get ready fall on deaf ears. You might feel the urge to lose your cool, yet you maintain your composure. When you resort to physical persuasion, they go limp like spaghetti, making it a workout to get them dressed. Eventually, they’re stripped down and realize they’ve lost this round, leading to…
Stage 3: The Meltdown
At this point, they’re prone to tears over anything and everything. You could innocently suggest, “Could you shift a bit so I can rinse your hair?” and suddenly, they’re sobbing, “But I’m too itchy!!!” They wail through bath time, teeth brushing, or story hour until you finally reach…
Stage 4: Total Exhaustion
Both you and your little ones are drained. They’re eager for it to be over, and so are you. Yet, they still require fourth meal, a drink, or they suddenly recall forgotten homework. You might leave the room only to hear, “I need a tissue!” or “Where’s my blanket?” The demands seem endless until they finally reach…
Stage 5: Sweet Sleep
At last, they’re tucked in, and you feel like celebrating. However, the energy has been completely zapped from you. All you want is to close your eyes and drift off yourself. You mentally plan for a social life in ten years and vow to never step out past 4 PM again. Turning to your partner, you ponder, “Why do we even try?” to which they reply with a weary, “I have no idea.”
This article was originally published on Oct. 3, 2014.
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Summary: Managing children who are up past their bedtime can lead to a whirlwind of emotions and chaotic moments. From wild antics in the car to denial of bedtime routines, meltdowns, and eventual exhaustion, every parent can relate. In the end, the hope for a peaceful night’s sleep seems to be the ultimate goal.