10 Reasons I Stepped Away from Competitive Parenting

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I’m done. I’ve officially decided to exit the arena of competitive parenting. I know, I know—we teach our kids the importance of perseverance, like finishing a soccer season even if they’re not enjoying it. But honestly, I can’t keep up anymore. I’m resigning from this exhausting game of who’s the best parent. At this point, I’m so far behind that I’m pretty sure no one will even notice my departure.

From the very beginning, I felt like I was lagging. I faced challenges like postpartum depression, chose not to breastfeed, and let my children cry it out when needed. I gave them whole milk before they turned one, skipped baby sign language, and yes, I even fed them sugary yogurt and fruit snacks (which are basically toddler candy). My oldest’s baby book is a chaotic mess of random milestones, and my second child doesn’t even have one!

As my kids have grown, it feels like the gap has only widened. Everyone else seems to have it all figured out, while I’m just trying to keep my head above water. If there were a rulebook for being the ultimate parent, I clearly missed my copy when I left the hospital, exhausted and terrified.

Here are just ten reasons why I’ve opted out of the competitive parenting race:

1. Concert Attire: When my eldest son had his preschool holiday concert, the other kids wore adorable outfits while he showed up in a “Monkey Trouble” t-shirt he picked out himself. At least he dressed himself, right?
2. Meals: Our family dinners often revolve around a rotation of mac & cheese, PB&J sandwiches, and pizza. Sure, we sometimes have baby carrots and strawberries, but they’re not exactly staples.
3. Fashion Choices: If my husband comes home and I’m not in pajamas or yoga pants, he thinks something’s up! As for my boys, convincing them to wear anything other than t-shirts and sweatpants is like pulling teeth.
4. Sports Enthusiasm: I cheer occasionally and clap, but mostly, I just watch from the sidelines. I don’t have signs or banners, but I do manage to get my son to practice regularly and tell him he did great afterward—so that counts for something, right?
5. Halloween Outfits: While other parents showcase their creatively crafted costumes online, mine usually wear last-minute, store-bought outfits. My youngest often ends up in his brother’s hand-me-downs, which is fine by me.
6. Birthday Treats: Forget about gluten-free, vegan, or homemade cakes. If I remember to bring treats to school, they’re typically store-bought and full of sugar. But hey, the kids love them!
7. Art Projects: Preschool art is adorable in theory. However, the glitter and glue creations can quickly pile up. Most of those projects end up in the recycling bin after a short stint on our fridge.
8. Volunteering at School: I had grand ideas of being involved in my son’s kindergarten class but quickly learned that my simple Halloween party plans paled in comparison to the over-the-top decorations other parents provided.
9. Family Outings: My idea of an adventure is a trip to Target or a short bike ride. As for museums and aquariums? We’ve visited them once each, and that’ll do for a while, thanks!
10. Playground Dynamics: The playground is a great place for kids to release energy, but it often feels like a high school reunion, complete with small talk I’d rather avoid. After a day of parenting antics, I find myself sitting quietly on a bench, catching my breath and scrolling through my phone.

So there you have it: my ten reasons for stepping back from the competitive parenting race. I’m tired and ready to take a break. For those still in the game, keep at it! But if you’re also feeling overwhelmed, come join me on this quiet bench in the shade. We can share a knowing smile while admiring our amazing kids, no small talk necessary.

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Summary:

Stepping away from competitive parenting can be liberating. The pressure to conform to parenting ideals can be overwhelming, as seen in the humorous reflections on concerts, meals, and outings. Embracing a more relaxed approach allows parents to focus on what truly matters: enjoying time with their children.