You Are Not Destined to Be Alone and Jobless

self insemination kit

As part of the new edition of The Girl’s Guide to Absolutely Everything (Workman, 2015), I gathered insights from countless women about the lessons they wish they had learned before graduating college—knowledge that could have alleviated their struggles and made their 20s and 30s a lot smoother. Here’s one enlightening story.

Name: Emily Carter

Age: 32
Location: Brooklyn, NY
Profession: Features Editor at CulinaryChronicles.com, where I’m launching a new storytelling initiative. I also contribute to the esteemed culinary magazine, Flavor, where I previously served as the executive digital editor. Additionally, I co-authored Flavor’s Essential Recipes and share my thoughts on various topics for platforms like Medium, Glamour, and The Muse.

What I’ve Learned:

Looking back, I wish I had understood the liberating power of endings. Before leaving college, I had never experienced a breakup or resigned from a job. Yet, within ten months of entering the workforce, I faced both challenges within a mere fortnight. At the young age of 22, I believed I would marry my boyfriend and that my job would be my forever career. When I lost both, I felt as if I was destined to die alone and without employment, convinced that my life was over.

However, I discovered that endings can actually be a form of liberation. Through a combination of enforced self-reflection and some incredible therapy, I learned more about myself during those months than I ever thought possible. I uncovered what truly brings me joy and what I genuinely want in life.

A decade later, those revelations continue to inspire me. I’ve navigated more breakups and left several jobs since then. While there’s still heartbreak involved, the overwhelming feeling of despair has significantly diminished. Yes, it’s still daunting and emotional, and there are still tears. But I wish I had known that you can overcome these challenges. You remain yourself, maintaining your unique perspective, and often emerge from these experiences stronger and more resilient.

This article is part of a series. You can explore additional women’s insights on navigating your twenties here.

Summary:

In reflecting on her early adulthood, Emily Carter shares the valuable lesson that endings can lead to newfound freedom and self-discovery. She emphasizes that despite the fear and heartbreak that accompany breakups and job losses, these experiences ultimately help shape a stronger identity.