Hey there, fellow parents. It’s time for a heart-to-heart. We’ve been bumping into each other at the park, in the aisles of the grocery store, while waiting for our little ones at dance class, and even as we dash from the office to catch the train home. We exchange the customary “How are you?” and respond with a quick “I’m fine.” But deep down, we know that’s far from the truth.
What we really mean is that we’re worn out, anxious, and sometimes just plain frustrated. We’re tired of scouring multiple stores to find just the right snacks for that upcoming Halloween celebration. We’re spent from burning the midnight oil to craft the ideal birthday invitations while juggling work emails and preparing lunches for the next day. Many of us feel less than our best because we haven’t had a moment to ourselves in ages—no makeup, no fresh haircuts, and maybe we skipped a shower yesterday. The guilt creeps in as we notice our grocery carts filled with sugary cereals and frozen meals instead of organic produce and healthy grains. When we finally collapse into bed, our minds race with all the unfinished tasks, and we wake up to the sound of little voices demanding breakfast, along with the relentless ding of incoming emails adding to our already overflowing to-do lists.
We might glance at other parents who seem to navigate their days with ease and wonder, “How do they do it?” That thought is often followed by our inner critic reminding us that we’re not measuring up, that we have no clue what we’re doing, and that we’re failing at this whole parenting gig. Beneath all that noise, we long for a gentle reminder that we’re doing a good job—really, a damn good job.
So here’s an idea: let’s ditch the pretense. Let’s stop saying “I’m fine” every single time someone asks how we’re holding up. Let’s reach out for help and practice kindness toward ourselves. It’s okay to let our guard down every now and then. Let’s end the competition of who’s the “best” parent and simply embrace being “good enough.”
I can already hear some of you thinking, “But our kids deserve the best, not just ‘good enough.’” It’s important to clarify that being a good enough parent doesn’t mean loving our children any less or neglecting their needs. It means easing the pressure, letting go of perfection, and dropping the act. Good enough parenting doesn’t mean being lazy or allowing our kids to fend for themselves. It’s about stopping the comparisons and the pressure to do everything while wearing a smile.
Let’s be real—some mornings, just getting everyone dressed and out the door on time is an achievement in itself. We don’t need the added stress of packing Pinterest-worthy lunches or ensuring the kids are in matching socks. At least they’ve got some on, right?
Dinner may have consisted of pizza and baby carrots for three nights straight? Good enough! Date night might just involve slipping on clean yoga pants and enjoying some downtime after the kids are in bed? Good enough! If you’ve been sending Lunchables and juice boxes to school, that’s good enough too! Only showered twice this week? Good enough! (Thank goodness for baseball caps and ponytails!)
Parenting is undeniably challenging, and pretending otherwise is exhausting. It’s tough enough without the added burden of judgment, competition, and the relentless pursuit of perfection. How about we start assuming good intentions in ourselves and others? We’re all striving to raise kind and compassionate humans. We love our kids with everything we have, even while juggling countless roles—spouse, friend, employee, community member. With so many hats to wear, it’s easy to feel like we’re not doing enough in one area or another.
As a wise friend once told me, “Every day, I fail at something; it’s just a matter of what.” Each day offers us a chance to learn, even if it feels like a two-steps-forward-one-step-back dance. While striving for improvement is admirable, chasing perfection is a losing battle. We have enough on our plates without adding guilt for not adhering to unrealistic standards of parenting.
I’ve decided to stop trying to be the perfect parent and focus instead on being a good enough one. You know what? Once I made that shift, I finally began to hear the reassuring words I had awaited for so long: “You’re doing a good job.” And guess what? So are you.
In conclusion, let’s embrace our good enough selves and support one another along the way. We’re all in this together, navigating the ups and downs of parenting. Remember, it’s okay to be imperfect; what matters is the love we share with our kids.