As the fall season rolls in, the holidays are right around the corner. (I know, right?) But don’t worry! I’ve got some clever responses for when your in-laws hit you with those little comments that can really deflate your confidence (I picked up that phrase from my kid’s gymnastics coach last week).
1. So, you don’t cook much?
Nope! Cooking isn’t really my forte. I usually just serve the kids cereal, but hey, at least it’s Froot Loops! I’ve read that pink food has beta carotene—or is it orange? Either way, I’m sure they’ll get their nutrients.
2. Did you take the baby to the doctor for that cough?
What, the doctor? We actually opted for a homeopath instead. I believe that’s what the card says; they use incense and some interesting techniques.
3. New couch, huh?
Thanks for noticing! Your diligent son got a bonus and wanted to invest it in our kids’ education, but I convinced him a new couch was a better idea. I even bought myself a tennis bracelet, which I never ended up wearing. Oh well, priorities, right?
4. Have you thought about getting our granddaughter tested for the gifted program?
Honestly, I’m not sure she’s all that gifted. I did enroll her in some dance classes, though—just in case community college doesn’t work out.
5. Are you still working full-time?
Nope! We hit the jackpot in the lottery. Just keeping it on the down-low while I sip coffee at Starbucks and read US Weekly. Meanwhile, the kids are calling the daycare lady “Mommy.” I also dabble in Sudoku.
6. They should really wear jackets in this weather.
Not if they’re preparing for a move to Halifax! Didn’t I mention that?
7. You look exhausted.
Thanks! That’s exactly the vibe I was aiming for. Actually, I was going for “exhausted and frumpy,” so if you want to comment on my weight gain, the night is still young.
8. Is my son getting any time to himself?
Well, not really. Between chopping wood and pushing coal around, he’s quite busy. I also have him giving me pedicures.
9. You really should make the kids listen.
Oh my gosh, you’re right! I was just pondering whether to enforce that. It’s so charming when they rebel, but now that you’ve put it that way, I’m all in! Sometimes it just takes the right nudge.
10. When did your parents last come to visit?
Oh, never. We only hang out with you guys because we like you better. Shh, don’t tell them—we’re keeping the Halifax move a secret!
Until next time, I remain your friendly Blogapist, daring you to use these clever comebacks.
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In summary, these comebacks can help you navigate the sometimes tricky conversations with in-laws while keeping the mood light and humorous.