Not long ago, I had an enlightening conversation with a friend that pushed me toward meditation. His insightful book, Calm and Collected: How I Conquered My Inner Critic and Found Real Peace, is set to launch next month. He’s shared some compelling insights on how habits can shape our happiness, and I was eager to learn more.
Discovering Meditation
What’s a simple habit that consistently boosts your happiness? If you had asked me years ago, I would have never guessed my answer would be… meditation. I used to believe that meditation was reserved for mystical yogis or those who enjoyed new age music. However, recent studies have highlighted numerous benefits, including reduced stress and enhanced cognitive function. I discovered that meditation doesn’t require fancy rituals or sitting in odd positions.
I began with just five minutes each day and quickly experienced three remarkable improvements: enhanced concentration, a greater sense of tranquility, and a remarkable ability to redirect my thoughts away from past regrets or future worries back to the present moment.
The Transformation
As I continued this practice for about four years, extending to 35 minutes daily, I noticed a significant transformation in my mindset. I developed a new relationship with the voice in my head—the one that often leads us to snack when we’re not hungry or gets us into heated arguments we later regret. This awareness, often referred to as mindfulness, has become a valuable skill.
While I’m not suggesting that meditation solves all problems—I still have my flaws—it has undeniably contributed to my overall happiness and serenity. In fact, I’ve dedicated a whole book to making meditation approachable for everyone, not just the stereotypical practitioners.
Building Healthy Habits
What’s something you’ve learned about building healthy habits since you were younger? I’ll admit that I’m not an expert in habit theory, which is why I’m keen to learn from others. A neuroscientist friend once told me, “The brain seeks pleasure.” We naturally gravitate towards what feels good. Now, I realize that I struggle to form or break habits unless there’s a strong personal incentive at play. For instance, I started meditating motivated by its health benefits, and I’ve been able to keep it up because the positive effects are so clear to me.
Habits That Hinder Happiness
Do you have any habits that hinder your happiness? Absolutely! Two major areas are:
- Multitasking: Numerous studies show that our brains can’t effectively handle multiple tasks at once. Yet, I still find myself juggling emails, social media, and work obligations all at once.
- Mindless Eating: I strive to eat healthily, but I succumb to my love for comfort foods like pasta and cookies. When I indulge, it’s easy to go overboard, leading to a cycle of guilt.
Interestingly, meditation is supposed to help with such challenges by encouraging present-moment awareness, but I still encounter difficulties.
Prioritizing Wellness
Which habits do you prioritize for your wellness, creativity, and relaxation? Besides meditation, regular exercise is crucial for my happiness. If I skip workouts, I tend to feel restless. Sometimes, my partner, Mia, has to remind me to get moving when I’m feeling agitated.
Breaking Unhealthy Habits
Have you successfully broken an unhealthy habit? In my early thirties, I covered several challenging stories as a journalist. After a particularly intense assignment, I fell into a cycle of self-medication with drugs. It was a misguided attempt to recreate the thrill of my work. The consequences were severe, culminating in a panic attack during a live broadcast. After consulting with a therapist, I realized I had to quit immediately to save my career. The motivation was clear: my self-interest.
Challenges to Commitment
What disrupts your commitment to healthy habits? My work travel is the biggest barrier to maintaining my meditation and exercise routines, especially during intense news coverage. When I’m busy, the inner critic becomes harsher, and I often find myself indulging in unhealthy foods.
Life-Changing Conversations
Have you ever made a sudden change to a major habit due to a conversation or life event? Interestingly, I had such an experience right after high school. One day while driving, I decided that I would apply myself more seriously in college, and I did. This decision instilled a long-lasting drive for hard work, though it sometimes led to burnout.
Influences on Habits
Has anyone significantly influenced your habits? My partner and I have a profound impact on each other’s choices. For example, when one of us commits to healthier eating, the other typically follows suit. Mia has helped me cultivate kindness, pushing me to be more considerate of others, which has been life-changing.
Embracing Compassion
Embracing compassion meditation, despite my initial skepticism, has shifted my perspective. It encourages me to consider the feelings of others, fostering a more positive mindset. Ultimately, striving to be kind has proven to be one of the most fulfilling habits I’ve developed.
Conclusion
Meditation, stripped of its stereotypes, is simply a workout for the mind. No matter our age, we can change aspects of our personality and improve our mental well-being. As a wise saying I once saw put it, “All dates can change. So can you.”
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In summary, I’ve reshaped my relationship with my inner voice through meditation, leading to a more mindful and fulfilling life. Although I still face challenges, the journey has been transformative.