I was intrigued by the insights of Dr. Jamie Thornton, a well-respected figure among my circle of friends who share my passion for understanding human behavior, habits, and the pursuit of happiness. I was excited to read his latest book, Me, Myself, and Us: The Science of Personality and the Art of Well-Being. The subtitle alone hinted at our shared interests, and I was eager to explore his thoughts on habits and happiness.
Dr. Thornton’s research has unveiled some fascinating conclusions about habits. In the opening chapter of Me, Myself and Us, he discusses how our “personal constructs” influence our lives. These constructs act as lenses through which we view ourselves and the world around us, often manifesting as labels like “organized,” “cat lover,” or “chaotic.” Over time, these labels can limit our freedom to grow and thrive. Similarly, he emphasizes the importance of personal projects—activities we engage in daily. Just like personal constructs, these projects can become rigid and unfulfilling, but there are ways to reshape them for a more enriching life.
One simple habit that consistently boosts my happiness is the practice of intentionally avoiding habitual behaviors. While some may find this approach unrealistic, it works for me.
Reflecting on what I’ve learned about forming healthy habits since I was 18, I now understand the importance of sharing my goals with others. It’s challenging to maintain new habits alone, but choosing the right supporters is crucial. In Me, Myself and Us, Dr. Thornton discusses personality traits that may not foster a supportive environment, and it’s important to select wisely who you share your journey with.
Perfectionism is a habit I struggle with, often hindering my happiness, although it can also provide a sense of achievement that brings joy in its own way. The habits I prioritize—like enthusiasm for new opportunities—are essential for my overall well-being. As a naturally introverted person, I often have to step outside my comfort zone when fulfilling my role as a university lecturer, where I need to engage my students passionately.
While stepping outside my usual self can be draining, it’s vital to find spaces where I can recharge. For instance, I often seek out quiet restrooms after a lecture to regain my energy. This need for balance is something Susan Lane also touches on in her book, The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking, and Dr. Thornton expands on this idea in his work.
I successfully quit smoking in my early adulthood through sheer determination. I consider myself mostly an Upholder, but I can also be a Rebel when I feel constrained in pursuing my passions. External pressures, like travel and social events, often challenge my healthy habits, but I recognize the importance of enjoying life, even if it means sacrificing a bit of health.
Meeting my partner, Mia, was a transformative moment that dramatically altered my habits, but I’ll keep those details private. My relationship with habits is nuanced; I embrace them when they align with my values, but resist when they feel forced.
Do pets count as influential figures in habit formation? Because my cats certainly have their way of shaping my routines.
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In summary, navigating significant life changes can be challenging, especially when faced with unsupportive friends. Understanding the influence of personal constructs and the importance of supportive relationships can aid in successfully adopting new habits. Embrace your journey, and don’t hesitate to seek the right support along the way.