Five years ago, I found myself sitting on my therapist’s couch, feeling completely overwhelmed. “It’s like I’m struggling to stay afloat, but I can’t keep my head above water,” I confided to her. At that time, I was juggling four children in four different schools, which meant attending four back-to-school nights, four rounds of parent-teacher meetings, and managing four drop-off and pick-up schedules. To top it all off, I had just started a full-time job from home while navigating a challenging divorce.
Needless to say, I was probably a bit of a wreck, clutching a throw pillow on her love seat while wearing my yoga pants. My therapist, with her calming voice that often quoted poets like Goethe and Rumi, gently suggested I create a chart to visualize how my life would transform over the next five years. “You need to understand that your life will become significantly easier,” she encouraged.
Taking her advice, I returned home and mapped out the future. I realized that in five years, I would see one child heading off to college, followed by another the next year. My third child would be entering high school, and my youngest would finally transition to middle school, which was conveniently within walking distance. By then, I’d have three kids with driver’s licenses, and my youngest would be nearly 12 years old. It did seem like a more manageable time was just around the corner.
And here I am, living that reality, and it’s almost surreal how much easier life has become. I didn’t even have to cook dinner last night! My daughter is now a senior, usually busy with her jobs or out with friends, while my youngest is immersed in various sports activities. Most days, it’s just me and the cat at home.
Five years ago, I could never have imagined such a drastic change. Back then, I was clocking 60-hour workweeks while balancing college applications, grocery shopping, laundry, and caring for one of my more sensitive children. Now, my evenings consist of sipping wine and catching up on shows like Scandal.
However, there’s a bittersweet reality looming ahead. According to my calculations, in five years, the only one needing my attention will be the cat—if she’s still around. I’ll have three college graduates, and my youngest will be a junior in high school, driving himself around. My eldest will be turning 27—how is that even possible?
Unlike five years ago, when projecting into the future brought me comfort, now it fills me with a sense of melancholy. I find myself wishing I could turn back time. I don’t necessarily want to relive the chaos of having three teenagers under one roof—that was intense. But back then, it felt endless; I thought I’d always be busy with kids needing rides and constant supervision. And now, just like that, I find myself with more quiet time.
It’s a cliché, but it really does happen in the blink of an eye. One moment, you’re pouring Cheerios into a high chair, and the next, you’re lounging with a glass of wine instead of making dinner.
So to all the moms out there reading this, I understand the frustration—the whining about bedtime, the accusations of being the “worst mom ever.” You may be yearning for them to grow up and move out, but one day, you might find yourself missing those chaotic moments. You’ll long for the days when they asked you to take them to Toys R Us or Game Stop. You’ll miss the laughter around the dinner table, even if it was punctuated by complaints about the food. Trust me on this.
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Summary
Reflecting on the past five years, I’ve witnessed a significant transformation in my life as my children have grown. What once felt overwhelming has become a peaceful routine. Yet, while I embrace the ease of my current life, I can’t help but feel nostalgic for the chaotic days of parenthood. It’s a reminder that time truly flies, and although we may long for moments to change, we’ll eventually miss the little things we once took for granted.