This holiday season feels unprecedented. With rising COVID-19 cases and deaths, people worldwide are advised against traveling. Many are faced with the tough decision of skipping family visits this year. However, for me, that choice was not an option. My father has Alzheimer’s, and we simply cannot afford to waste time this holiday season.
Dad was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s Disease last autumn. Since my parents are divorced, my siblings and I had to decide whether to place him in a long-term care facility. Given that he was high-functioning, we felt he could remain at home, a decision I am grateful for, as my sister took on the role of his primary caregiver.
She enrolled him in a memory care day program and established routines while also hiring assistance for when she needed to work or travel. However, the pandemic halted all of that. My dad’s routines were disrupted, and the responsibility of caring for him fell solely on my sister.
For those unfamiliar, Alzheimer’s is a degenerative brain disease that destroys brain cells. It starts with memory loss and, as it advances, significantly hampers daily life. Eventually, the neurological damage can lead to an inability to perform basic functions like sitting up or eating, which is grueling for both the patient and their caregivers.
As summer ended and fall approached, we made plans for my dad to visit us in California for the holidays. This would give my brother and me precious time with him and provide my sister with a much-needed respite. But as the COVID-19 numbers began to rise, so did our anxiety about the trip.
As the holidays drew closer, we debated back and forth. Ultimately, my siblings and I initially leaned towards the “responsible” decision of keeping him home. But after that conversation, I found myself in tears. With both grandfathers having faced dementia, I know too well how rapidly things can change. I fear that this may be the last holiday I have with the father I cherish. I vowed never to miss another chance to be with a loved one, especially my dad.
I called my sister, and it was evident she was also emotional. She longed for our family to be together and needed a break. Thankfully, my brother agreed as well. We took steps to ensure safety, consulting a medical professional along the way. We moved their flight to a week before Thanksgiving to avoid crowds and purchased a return ticket for January. My sister equipped them with KN95 masks and face shields, and they disinfected their seating area.
Upon their arrival, we quarantined and waited for negative COVID tests before gathering. Our Thanksgiving was significantly scaled down, attended only by immediate family. Since then, we’ve minimized outings and restricted visitors to prioritize health.
Admittedly, taking this risk was daunting for us. Yet, the fear of losing precious moments with my dad outweighed our concerns. I recognize that we are fortunate to have this opportunity, and I cherish the time we’ve gained.
Watching a parent age can be difficult, especially when they suffer from Alzheimer’s, where changes can occur rapidly. Some might argue that our decision was reckless or selfish, but seeing my young niece sit on my dad’s lap and engage him in play made me feel we made the right choice for our family.
For more insights on navigating similar challenges, you can read our other posts on topics related to family and time, or check out resources like this excellent guide on IVF for fertility options.
Summary
This holiday season, the author reflects on the challenges of caring for a parent with Alzheimer’s amidst the COVID-19 pandemic. Despite the risks, the family prioritizes spending time together to create lasting memories, emphasizing the importance of family connections even in difficult times.
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