As my children grow older, my friends and I often find ourselves reflecting on how our once-little ones are blossoming into young adults. They stand taller, their eyes carry newfound wisdom, and the fleeting signs of puberty are now part of their portraits. “They’re becoming real,” we whisper, reminiscing about when they were cuddly bundles with chubby legs and soft hair. “They’re like actual people.” Their insights surprise us, they share our laughter, and they no longer fit snugly under our chins.
This year has been significant for both me and my eldest child, who is now 12, coinciding with my 40th birthday. This milestone has brought emotional and physical changes for both of us. Whether we’re sharing a joke or enjoying the quiet moments during drives to his volleyball practices, I realize that I, too, am evolving alongside him.
The Skin Horse, who had spent more time in the nursery than any other toy, was worn down by love—his once-lush coat now patchy, and his tail nearly bare from being used to craft bead necklaces. As a parent of four, I’ve witnessed my body change, from losing and regrowing hair in different ways to spotting grays and stretch marks. My feet bear the weight of motherhood, and my knees creak with age. Yet, I feel stronger than ever, the love I’ve received from my children revealing the seams of my experiences.
“Real isn’t how you are made,” said the Skin Horse. “It’s a thing that happens to you.” This transformation occurs when a child loves you deeply—not just for play, but with genuine affection. I remind myself that my visible wear is a testament to the love I’ve given and received. I’ve cradled babies, spent sleepless nights holding feverish children, and been met by the joyful embrace of a child racing to greet me after school. I’ve read bedtime stories while feeling little hands stroking my arm and cheered for a boy in a baseball uniform, praying he’ll hit a home run. Their love fuels me, even when energy is low.
“Does it hurt?” asked the Rabbit. “Sometimes,” replied the Skin Horse, ever honest. There have been painful moments—slammed doors, rolled eyes, and harsh words. The hardest times come when I watch my children face challenges and pain, feeling utterly helpless. Those heart-wrenching instances leave me gasping, yet they also weave magic into our lives.
“It doesn’t happen all at once,” explained the Skin Horse. “You become. It takes a long time.” The journey is not for the faint of heart; it requires resilience and vulnerability. By the time you become Real, you may be a bit shabby around the edges.
My friends and I are warriors, growing older alongside our children and learning alongside them about love and life. We’ve faced challenging pregnancies, difficult births, and the emotional toll of NICU stays. We’ve navigated the heartache of divorce and found the courage to love again. We’ve battled health issues, running races we never thought we could, and we’re gaining wrinkles and losing our eyesight. Yes, we’re a little loose in our joints, but that wears us well.
“But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real, you can’t be ugly, except to those who don’t understand.” In the waiting room of the pediatrician or at a school event, we catch each other’s eye and know we’re all part of the same journey—becoming Real, living as real parents.
To see the years of love and life in our own parents’ eyes reassures us that this journey is genuine. If you’re considering your options in parenthood, exploring resources like this excellent guide can be invaluable. For those looking into home insemination, Cryobaby offers trusted products to assist you. And if you have questions, feel free to check here for more information.
In summary, the journey of parenthood is one of transformation, marked by love, growth, and the inevitable wear and tear that comes with it. Embracing this evolution is what makes us Real.