The “Annoying Inner Critic” in Clara Monroe’s Life

At a recent conference in New York City, I had the pleasure of chatting with Clara Monroe after our presentations. I had just finished reading her book, Flourish: A New Approach to Defining Success and Achieving Well-Being, which resonated deeply with me as someone who often reflects on happiness and personal habits. The insights in Flourish explore how to live authentically and why that matters. Below is a summary of our enlightening conversation about what keeps Clara thriving.

What’s a simple habit that consistently boosts your happiness?

I’ve developed a routine that includes meditation, exercise, and regular walks, but the practice I rely on the most is conscious breathing. It’s a technique I can utilize anytime throughout the day. Focusing on my breath allows me to pause, reconnect with the present moment, and move past challenges more gracefully.

What’s one lesson you’ve learned about cultivating healthy habits since you were 18?

I’ve realized just how crucial sleep is to overall well-being. A good night’s rest makes you more productive, effective, and able to savor life. This understanding is my top healthy habit now—something I certainly overlooked at 18!

Are there any habits that consistently hinder your happiness?

Oh, definitely—my attachment to my devices. I often find myself checking my phones in situations where I could be more present.

How would you categorize yourself: Upholder, Questioner, Rebel, or Obliger?

I identify as an Obliger, or perhaps a “recovering Obliger.” I’ve always found it challenging to meet the expectations I set for myself. I refer to that inner voice as my annoying inner critic, which can deter me from pursuing my dreams. To quiet this critic, I remind myself of Montaigne’s wisdom: “Many terrible things in my life never actually happened.”

Have you ever experienced a sudden shift in habits due to a significant event?

Yes, a transformative moment occurred on April 6, 2007. I collapsed in my home office, injuring myself when I hit my desk during a fall from sheer exhaustion. This incident led to a series of doctor visits as I sought to uncover any underlying health issues, but ultimately, it was just extreme fatigue. Those waiting rooms became a catalyst for introspection, prompting me to ask tough questions about my life.

This was truly a wake-up call. Reflecting on my past, I realized there had been other moments when I should’ve changed my ways but didn’t. This time was different—I made significant lifestyle changes, including daily practices that help me stay healthy and out of those waiting rooms. The outcome is a more fulfilling life that offers me peace and perspective.

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In summary, Clara Monroe’s journey emphasizes the importance of self-awareness and healthy habits in achieving well-being. By addressing her annoying inner critic and embracing changes, she has found a more fulfilling life.