The Long Farewell is a poignant memoir chronicling the heartbreaking journey of Sarah as she copes with the loss of her mother to cancer in 2008. At just 32 years old, Sarah faced the profound grief of losing her mother, who was only 55. This deep sorrow can often serve as one of the toughest yet most enlightening lessons about finding happiness, and I knew Sarah would have valuable insights to share on this journey.
What simple activity consistently boosts your happiness?
Gretchen: What simple activity consistently boosts your happiness?
Sarah: Walking has become my go-to. I used to run frequently, which always lifted my spirits—even if the thought of lacing up my shoes brought dread. After tearing cartilage in my right hip, I was unable to run anymore, which was tough especially since I had relied on it as a coping mechanism after my mother’s passing. However, I discovered that walking can also be therapeutic. Slowing down to truly experience my surroundings has proven beneficial.
Reading a comforting book also brings me joy. Classics like Anne of Green Gables or T. H. White’s The Once and Future King are my favorites, especially during tough times. There’s a powerful line in The Book of Merlyn, a prequel to The Once and Future King, that resonates with me: “The best thing for being sad…is to learn something. That is the only thing that never fails.” This sentiment became a lifeline for me in my darkest moments.
What lessons about happiness have you learned since you were 18?
I’ve come to understand that happiness is fleeting. When I experience sadness, I remind myself that it will eventually pass if I endure it. Yet, I also recognize that certain pains linger and shape us—my mother’s death on Christmas Day 2008 taught me this, and while the impact can be heavy, it’s not always negative.
Are there habits you notice that hinder your happiness?
Lack of sleep and insufficient exercise are common culprits. A less obvious one for me is my tendency to work excessively. Sometimes, I catch myself feeling isolated, realizing I haven’t connected with friends in days. Skipping social interaction can quickly dampen my mood, even when I think retreating will bring me peace.
Is there a happiness mantra you find particularly helpful?
My mother would often say, “Lighten up, Sarah,” whenever I got too wound up over trivial matters—a gentle reminder not to sweat the small stuff. I find myself repeating this to ease my anxieties, particularly when I overthink interactions or decisions.
What behaviors do you observe in others that either enhance or diminish their happiness?
Fretting over little things and neglecting gratitude can significantly detract from happiness. Actively practicing gratitude has been transformative for me. During my grieving process, I focused on identifying beauty around me, which helped lift my spirits—something I might have scoffed at before.
Do you actively work on enhancing your happiness?
Absolutely. After my mother’s passing, she seemed to urge me to seek joy in life. I now prioritize simple routines, like maintaining consistent sleep and eating well. I also reflect on moments that drain my energy and try to remind myself that most worries are trivial. I often marvel at the vastness of the universe and my small role in it, which helps put things into perspective.
Have you ever been surprised by how your happiness fluctuates based on unexpected events?
Certainly. I once believed moving to a larger, more secluded apartment would make me happier. Instead, I felt disconnected and lonely. The biggest surprise came after my mother’s death; I initially thought nothing positive could emerge from such grief. However, over time, I realized that surviving a profound loss taught me to relax and appreciate life more. It even brought unexpected friendships with others who had also experienced loss, fostering a closeness I might not have found otherwise.
For more insightful discussions, check out this excellent resource on pregnancy. Additionally, if you’re interested in home insemination, visit Make a Mom for expert guidance. And don’t miss out on our other blog post for more tips on this journey here.
Summary:
This article explores the journey of Sarah as she reflects on her mother’s passing and the lessons learned about happiness and coping with loss. Through activities like walking and reading, Sarah has discovered ways to find joy amidst grief. The insights she shares emphasize the importance of gratitude, social connection, and the fleeting nature of happiness. Ultimately, her experience highlights that even in sorrow, there can be growth and unexpected beauty.