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Essential Questions for Creating Resolutions You Can Maintain
Updated: Aug. 12, 2023
Originally Published: Jan. 2, 2023
Wondering how to make resolutions that truly stick? It’s more complicated than it may seem. Here are some strategies to help you craft resolutions that resonate. Remember, this is just the brainstorming phase—no need to take action just yet! Focus on envisioning what would make your year ahead more fulfilling.
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Consider: “What would enhance my happiness?”
Reflect on what could bring more joy into your life. It could mean increasing positive experiences, like spending quality time with loved ones or diving deeper into a passion project. Alternatively, it might involve reducing negative aspects, such as minimizing conflicts with your children or cutting back on unhealthy snacks. You might also want to address areas that feel off-balance—like dedicating more time to volunteer work or strengthening a friendship. The closer your life aligns with your core values, the happier you’ll feel. Developing habits can help ensure your daily life mirrors what you value.
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Ask: “What specific habit will lead to meaningful change?”
A frequent pitfall is setting vague resolutions that are hard to measure. Goals like “be happier” or “live in the moment” can be elusive. Instead, zero in on a tangible, actionable habit to cultivate. For example, commit to “watching a classic movie every Sunday night” or “sipping my coffee on the front porch each morning.” These concrete actions can guide you toward those broader, more abstract aspirations.
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Determine: “Am I a ‘yes’ resolver or a ‘no’ resolver?”
Some individuals find negative resolutions off-putting; they dislike the focus on prohibitions or the burden of ‘don’ts.’ If you resonate with this, opt for affirmative resolutions: “Take a pottery class,” or “Schedule lunch with a friend weekly.” In contrast, others thrive on “no” resolutions, aiming to eliminate behaviors or tackle tasks they might otherwise avoid. Understanding your personal style is crucial. For example, my friend Sarah is a firm believer in abstaining from junk food, embracing the mindset of freedom that comes with saying “no” to certain temptations. Small victories can energize you for larger challenges, so be mindful not to overwhelm yourself.
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Evaluate: “Am I starting with an appropriately sized goal?”
Many people set overly ambitious resolutions, leading to frustration and abandonment before January ends. We often misjudge what we can achieve in the short term while underestimating our potential for long-term progress through consistent, incremental efforts. If you plan to exercise more, it might be unrealistic to start with daily hour-long gym sessions. Instead, aim for small steps, like taking a ten-minute walk during lunch or doing a few squats during commercial breaks of your favorite show. On the flip side, some thrive on big, bold changes. If you’re one of those people, a sweeping transformation might ignite your motivation and commitment. Finding out whether you prefer small, manageable steps or bold leaps is essential to your success.
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Reflect: “How will I ensure accountability?”
For many, accountability is the linchpin to following through on resolutions. There are numerous ways to hold yourself accountable. Creating a tracking chart can be helpful, and being part of a community, like a support group, can enhance your commitment. This is why it’s vital to set clear, specific resolutions; vague goals make accountability challenging. For example, “Eat better” lacks clarity compared to “Enjoy a salad for lunch three times a week.” Remember, if you’re someone who thrives on external accountability, find ways to build that into your goals.
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In summary, crafting resolutions that you can stick to requires thoughtful reflection on what will truly enhance your happiness, understanding your personal approach to habit formation, starting with the right size goals, and ensuring you have accountability measures in place. Good luck with your journey toward a more fulfilling year!
