Dear Hospital Team,
We appreciate your support and want to share our preferences for our upcoming birth experience. Here’s what we’d like you to keep in mind:
- If my partner or I find ourselves overwhelmed and start to tear up or panic about the monumental task of caring for a tiny human—especially since we can’t even remember to take out the trash—please allow us some space. We need to maintain our dignity amidst the chaos.
- Should my partner attempt to sneak in a candy bar due to his snack cravings while coaching me through labor, kindly take it away and offer him some ice chips instead.
- If he tries to slip me a soda, just look the other way. We all know that ice chips are the only approved snack for this event.
- When offered pain relief and I say, “No thanks, I’ve watched all the documentaries,” understand that I actually mean, “Yes, please hand over all the drugs right now!”
- In case we arrive at the birthing suite and the TV isn’t working, please prepare for the worst. We’ll need some form of distraction to survive!
- If you happen to be the no-nonsense, tough-love nurse who doesn’t smile, please send us someone with a kinder demeanor who enjoys a little hand-holding.
- If I’m offered a mirror while the baby is crowning, I might respond enthusiastically, but please be cautious. I can become a bit dramatic in moments of stress.
- I’d love for our baby to be placed on my chest right after birth so we can capture that beautiful, messy moment to share with my skeptical mother-in-law who wasn’t thrilled about my birth plan.
- After our little one arrives, we’d like him to stay in our room for all his care. Not just for bonding, but because my partner has been watching a certain old TV movie that has us both a bit on edge.
- The lactation consultant is welcome to visit, but please let her know our plan to introduce a pacifier early on—no need for any lectures on “nipple confusion,” thank you very much!
We appreciate your understanding as we prepare for the arrival of our first child. For more insights into the journey of pregnancy and home insemination, check out this informative resource as well as this comprehensive guide.
Summary:
This birth plan outlines our preferences for labor and delivery, emphasizing the need for compassion and understanding from hospital staff. From managing snack situations to ensuring a smooth post-birth experience, we hope to create a memorable and supportive environment for welcoming our child into the world.