The True Reasons I’m Always Running Late

self insemination kit

“Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry we’re late! Traffic was a nightmare!” This is the standard excuse I often give when I find myself arriving behind schedule. With a packed calendar full of events—be it sports, parties, or weddings—I seem to perpetually be in a race against time. But before you judge, let me share the real, often entertaining, reasons for my tardiness:

1. I spent a solid 20 minutes searching for my sunglasses… only to discover they were perched on my head the entire time.
2. Each of my kids managed to misplace a shoe, leaving us with mismatched footwear.
3. I had a rough week and took laxatives the night before; of course, they decided to kick in just as we were about to leave. And let’s be honest, public restrooms are a definite no-go for me.
4. I was craving a Diet Coke, and even though the drive-thru line was long enough to rival a theme park queue, I just had to indulge.
5. My husband and I had a disagreement, and I needed to cool my jets before stepping into the event.
6. I had to wait for my Xanax to take effect.
7. I lost my keys after rummaging through the house in a panic, only to find them in the same drawer I’d already checked five times. Then, in the chaos, I forgot where I put them again!
8. The outfit I intended to wear was still in the washer.
9. My son took a whopping 17 minutes to brush his teeth because he got distracted making faces in the mirror.
10. I set my alarm and woke up on time, but then I wasted half an hour scrolling through Facebook and liking everything I saw.
11. I forgot essential items at home and had to make a detour to retrieve them.
12. My time management skills could use some serious improvement.
13. I got sucked into a Golden Girls marathon—the comedic genius of Sophia is just too hard to resist.
14. I put on jeans that felt too tight, so I switched to leggings but struggled to find shoes that matched, leading me to a mini-wardrobe crisis.
15. I couldn’t locate my two-year-old when it was time to go.
16. I didn’t want to be the first one to arrive at the gathering, so I circled around until I saw a few more cars show up.
17. I was on the phone and couldn’t find my cell, which was just in my hand!
18. The baby pooped right as I was about to leave, forcing me to change him, and in the meantime, my older son took off his shoes and lost them.
19. My dog bolted out the door as we were leaving, causing a neighborhood-wide chase while my kids wept in the driveway.
20. Honestly? I’m just a disorganized mess trying to juggle it all.

So, the next time you see a mom trying to put on a brave face despite her lateness, don’t judge her. Just offer a kind smile and nod, as she might be navigating her own set of chaotic circumstances. For more insights on motherhood and the challenges that come with it, check out this resource, or if you’re looking for expert advice, this guide is a great resource. And for additional information on reproductive health, this site is an excellent source.

In summary, life as a mom can be an unpredictable whirlwind, and lateness often tells a story far beyond mere traffic delays. Embrace the chaos, and remember we’re all in this together!