It’s a familiar scenario for me: folks discover my kids’ ages and the conversation takes a sharp turn. Whether I’m chatting with a stranger, trying to connect with a fellow mom at the playground, or bonding with coworkers, I often hear the same line.
“Wait. How old are you?”
I get it; people are curious. But honestly, it grows tiresome. Yes, I’m younger than many parents of tweens. When someone finds out I’m “only” 28, I usually feel the need to clarify that my 11-year-old is my stepson, hoping to silence the mental math they’re doing.
I wasn’t a child when I had my first; I was 19! But even if I had been a teen, does that give others the right to judge? I attend school plays, sports events, and parent-teacher meetings just like everyone else. I’m navigating the same challenges—grades, technology use, relationships, and finances.
I’m a parent. Just like you.
I know that most people mean well, and they probably intend the “Oh my gosh, you’re so young!” comment as a compliment (and maybe I’ll appreciate it in another decade). However, here’s why you, an acquaintance, shouldn’t gasp when learning my age:
- When you say I’m too young to be a parent, I want to roll my eyes. Clearly, you’re mistaken because here I am with kids who are older than yours. You’re not the first to notice, trust me.
- Would you ask a woman who looks to be in her forties how old she is while she’s managing a couple of toddlers? No? Then why is it okay to ask me?
- “When I was your age…” Well, guess what? By the time I reach your age, my kids will already be in their twenties. Doesn’t sound so unreasonable now, does it?
- Comments about my age undermine my abilities as a parent. Just because I became a mom at a younger age doesn’t mean I care any less or am less capable than you. It’s as if my age implies I’m overwhelmed or immature.
- A generation ago, many girls were getting married at 16 and having children even sooner. While I’m not advocating for that, let’s keep some perspective here.
- Even if I’m tempted, I would never respond to your “You’re so young” comment with “No, you’re just old.”
Every parenting journey is unique; it doesn’t matter when we start—be it 19, 27, or 42. We’re all navigating this together. Plus, you might learn something from me. After all, it wasn’t too long ago that I was the one figuring all this out myself.
If you’d like to learn more about parenting and home insemination, check out our post on intracervical insemination for helpful insights. And for those considering their options, Make a Mom is a great authority on home insemination kits. For further information on pregnancy, visit the World Health Organization.
Summary:
Being judged for my age as a parent can be frustrating. While I appreciate the intent behind the comments, it often undermines my experience and journey. Parenting comes in all ages, and mutual respect is what truly matters.