Remember that family who issued an invoice to the child who didn’t show up for their birthday celebration? Honestly, I’m a bit relieved that this whole conversation has resurfaced because entertaining other kids can really add up! Now that it looks like I might be able to recover some of the costs, I’ve compiled a list of expenses I plan to send to other families, starting with these…
- 87 peanut butter and jelly sandwiches that your little one sampled before pushing aside.
- 800 kilowatt hours of electricity dedicated to powering the Wii U.
- The three “must-have” Wii U games that my kids discovered through your children.
- Carpool expenses that include mileage, fuel, and wear-and-tear on my vehicle. (This minivan is aging quickly!)
- My billable hours for the playdate where you decided to “hang out” a little longer.
- Emergency plumbing services (holiday rate, Happy Labor Day!) due to a backed-up toilet.
- Six rolls of toilet paper that your child attempted to flush down said toilet.
- Various art supplies that were creatively destroyed but not used for any actual projects.
- 18 rolls of paper towels used while trying to teach your child how to drink from a regular glass.
- Goldfish, goldfish, goldfish.
- The case of ZBars that mysteriously vanished from our pantry.
- The living room rug that your child claimed “wasn’t that great anyway.”
- The wine consumed to recuperate from your family’s visit.
- 367 Magic Erasers.
- Replacement balls (all of which have either rolled away or vanished).
- One gallon of ice cream that was deemed “too chocolatey” and left to melt on our kitchen table.
- Two cups of hot chocolate that were also “too chocolatey” and cooled off on the coffee table.
- A bag of microwave popcorn I’d been saving for my favorite show that your kid found and burned.
- 300 gallons of water from July 2014 when someone accidentally left the hose running for five hours.
- Six boxes of Band-Aids and three tubes of Neosporin (after I warned your kid not to eat it at least four times).
- Three days at an all-inclusive resort in Jamaica.
We accept credit cards, but cash is preferred. Due to the PTA wrapping paper debacle of 2012, personal checks are no longer accepted. Please ensure your payment is settled before sending your kid/s over again.
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Summary
This article humorously lists various expenses incurred from hosting children’s playdates. The author proposes invoicing the parents of these children for costs, ranging from food to damages. It captures the lighthearted frustration of parenting, while also providing links to useful resources on home insemination and related topics.