Updated: Aug. 20, 2023
Originally Published: Feb. 2, 2023
My father imparted a vital lesson to me two decades ago: “If you desire something in life, you must position yourself to attain it.” We were standing side by side, finishing the dishes after dinner—he dried while I put them away. His words likely stemmed from a typical teenage request of mine for a new bag or trendy shoes. Unintentionally, he provided me with my first lesson in feminism: Embrace independence, take charge of your life, and shape your own destiny. More importantly, he instilled confidence in me as a capable, worthy individual deserving of respect and opportunities.
As parents, we are continuously teaching our children through our actions and words—what matters, what doesn’t, our self-perception, and our worldview. These lessons seep out in various ways, often without our conscious awareness. Thus, it is crucial to remind ourselves of our values and beliefs, ensuring that they guide the lessons we impart.
Despite our family resembling a scene from a vintage sitcom (with my partner working while I care for our young boys), I am undeniably a feminist because I believe in equality. Raising two sons means it’s essential they understand feminism and gender equality and how these concepts manifest in the world.
Gender inequality affects everyone, not just women, and it is our responsibility to counteract the stereotypes and biases that society imposes on children from a young age. We must ensure that the principles of feminism and equality are foundational in our family, so they become second nature during playdates, sports, and even while cleaning up after dinner.
While many resources exist for teaching feminist values to daughters, I wanted to create a list that addresses the unique challenges I anticipate facing as a mother to boys. So, I crafted this guide for raising feminist boys:
- Feminism is about equality, not femininity.
- Boys can be feminists too, regardless of their interests like sports or action movies. Just as enjoying makeup or changing one’s last name doesn’t diminish my feminism, neither should it for them.
- It’s completely acceptable to cry, but express emotions responsibly and respectfully.
- Cultivate friendships with girls.
- Interests should not be gendered; girls can enjoy trucks and superheroes, while boys can love princesses and tea parties.
- Phrases like “like a man” or “like a girl” are meaningless. Dismiss them.
- Strength and sensitivity can coexist; they are not mutually exclusive.
- Having a penis does not grant you special rights; it’s merely a part of your body.
- Open doors for everyone, not out of obligation, but as a simple act of kindness. Good manners matter.
- True beauty comes from within; outer appearances are secondary.
- When dating, be thoughtful—pay for dinner or surprise her with flowers, not to gain favor, but because it’s kind. If I had daughters, I’d encourage them to do the same for their partners.
- Engage in intimate relationships only when both partners are ready, not due to peer pressure or hormones.
- “No” means no. Silence also signifies no, while “maybe” is still a no. Only “yes” is an affirmative.
- Surround yourself with those who inspire you to be your best self, and be cautious of anyone attempting to change you.
- Equal work warrants equal pay. This is fundamental.
- Your gender, job, or financial status should not define you. Aim to be kind, brave, and respectful.
- If you marry, your partner may choose to keep their last name. This decision does not reflect their love for you.
- Financial support isn’t the only way to contribute to a family.
- When making parenting decisions, prioritize what is best for your family, considering all factors involved.
- Men can—and should—participate equally in domestic tasks and childcare, despite common media portrayals.
- Don’t shy away from apologizing; it’s a sign of strength and courage, not weakness.
- Acknowledge your privileges, whether they are financial, educational, or cultural, and advocate for those who lack them.
- Practice empathy and compassion in all interactions.
- While differences exist among genders, they are part of the human experience. Celebrate these distinctions without over-generalizing.
- Remember these lessons are about fairness, respect, and equality—not for protecting any specific group, but for fostering a just society. They can contribute to changing the world—step by step.
These insights can guide your journey in fostering an equitable environment for your children. For more information on related topics, check out this privacy policy to stay informed, and explore this resource for further reading on family matters. If you’re interested in products that support home insemination, visit this site for their expert offerings.
Summary: Raising feminist boys involves teaching them about equality, empathy, and respect through their actions and values. By nurturing these principles, we can help create a more fair and just society for everyone.