The Annual Checkup, From A to Z

self insemination kit

Here’s a fun A to Z guide summarizing Max’s recent checkup:

A is for Active

The doctor encourages kids to get off screens and stay active. Max enjoys swimming, horseback riding, and he spends a couple of hours exercising each day—television just doesn’t interest him!

B is for Briefly

In the waiting room, we all had to fill out a standardized checklist. The first question was “Please describe your child briefly.” I wanted to be cheeky but settled on “Joyful. Caring. Determined.”

C is for Chomp

During the visit, they handed him a wooden tongue depressor, which resulted in a few splinters. Ouch!

D is for Development Questions

From the checklist: “Seldom plays with others?” Check. “Does not talk well for age?” Check. “Slow to understand?” Check. The questions felt absurd, heartbreaking, and oddly amusing.

E is for Eat

Max currently eats everything, making a chew toy essential to keep him occupied during the appointment. Unfortunately, he’s lost interest in all our toys—maybe I should get one shaped like a stethoscope.

F is for Five Stars

Our doctor awarded us five stars as Max’s parents. It may sound silly, but it was reassuring to hear. Self-doubt can be a tough battle, and this compliment felt like a breath of fresh air.

G is for Growth Chart

Why do we care about Max’s growth percentile? We feed him constantly, and this kid eats like a linebacker! What more can we do?

H is for Happy

The word “happy” was mentioned repeatedly during the visit. Despite his challenges, he remains a joy to be around.

I is for Immature

The checklist had another point: “Acts much younger than age?” Check.

J is for Juice

The doctor suggested reducing juice intake and swapping it for more water. Max doesn’t drink juice anyway.

K is for Kiss

While discussing how affectionate he is, Max planted a sloppy kiss on me. So sweet!

L is for Limits

My partner often says, “The only limits Max has are the ones we impose on him.”

M is for Milestones

The developmental milestones were on the back of the checklist. For years, I’ve been told to disregard them because Max is delayed. It’s one thing to know this, but another to truly let go of the worry. This might be the first time I’ve managed that.

N is for Nurse

The new nurse didn’t know Max, which made things awkward when she asked him questions and waited for a response. I need to step in more often to explain his nonverbal communication.

O is for Open

His ear canals looked good!

P is for Paleo

We’ve adjusted Max’s diet over the years, and the paleo approach works wonders for him—less reflux, minimal indigestion, and his eczema has nearly vanished!

Q is for Quality

Max’s doctor is fantastic. She continuously asked, “What else can I do for you right now?”

R is for Relentless

Keeping Max contained in the exam room is a workout! It takes two adults to manage his boundless energy. Have I mentioned how great our chiropractor is?

S is for Shots

Max received three vaccinations: flu, polio, and another I can’t recall. I held his hand, and while he tensed up for a moment, he didn’t cry. Amazing!

T is for Testing

We mapped Max’s genome, but the mystery of his condition remains unsolved. We’re learning to live with that.

U is for Uncharted Territory

Next fall, Max will start kindergarten. Will he be potty trained? Can he navigate the hallways?

V is for Vision

Max needs new glasses. His current frames are a disaster, as he can pop out the lenses and try to swallow them. Time for another eye test with the same ophthalmologist who thought we were overreacting about his vision issues four years ago.

W is for Weight

Weighing Max on a scale is a total circus act. He refuses to sit still, which makes it feel like trying to balance a python on a unicycle while someone paints a portrait!

X is for X-Rays

Fortunately, Max’s hips are fine, so no X-rays were needed. Thank goodness for that!

Y is for Year

Did I mention the developmental checklist? I glanced at his file and saw last year’s checklist. When asked how I was doing as a parent, I had written “Fine,” with jagged handwriting that showed my annoyance. This year I wrote “Great!”

Z is for Zero

Overall, we’re in a good place with Max. Other than needing a vision test, we have zero urgent concerns.

In summary, this annual checkup was a mix of challenges and reassurances, showing progress while highlighting areas for growth. If you’re navigating similar experiences, check out this excellent resource on pregnancy and home insemination at Progyny. For more insights on at-home insemination, visit Make a Mom. You can also find more stories about parenting at Intracervical Insemination.