Ah, the newborn phase. Experienced mothers often reminisce about it fondly, which can make new moms want to scream in frustration. Let’s be honest: welcoming your first baby is a tough journey. Sure, looking back, it seems much simpler than it felt at the time. But when you’re navigating sleepless nights, postpartum emotions, and the challenges of daily life, the thought of parenting for the next eighteen years can feel overwhelming—almost like the urge to change your identity and escape to Vegas. Believe me, I’ve been there. But before you consider running away, here’s what I wish I had known during those early days of motherhood:
It’s the Toughest Transition.
For the first time, your priorities revolve entirely around someone else’s needs. You’re responsible for another life, and that can be daunting. It means confronting the parts of yourself you never knew were selfish. This phase is hard, especially when it feels like you’re constantly up for feedings and you’re drenched in baby spit-up and other bodily fluids. Remember, you don’t dislike your baby; you’re just learning the ropes of motherhood, and that’s no small feat. Kudos to you for sticking it out!
Public Perception Isn’t What You Think.
Social media might make you feel like everyone is watching your every move, but in reality, no one cares if you breastfeed in public. And if someone dares to comment, channel that postpartum fire and remind them that you’re within your rights. The same goes for bottle-feeding; if someone judges you, they’re not worth your time. Consider it a good filter for potential mom friends.
Cluster Feeding Will Pass.
When you feed on demand, there will be times when your little one wants to nurse for hours on end. You might find yourself on the couch for days without a shower, but take heart: this, too, shall pass.
Always Pack Extra Clothes.
You never know when you’ll need them.
Bodily Fluids Will Be Your New Normal.
At some point, you’ll likely catch spit-up in your hands or become a canvas for your baby’s messes. Most people might find this gross, but fellow moms will understand completely—even your partner.
Don’t Take Advice from Just Anyone.
Unless they’ve gone through the experience of bringing a baby into the world (or have been there through the adoption process), their opinions are just that—opinions. If they are your partner, it’s best if they approach you with kindness and understanding.
Your Baby is Portable.
Seriously! Use a carrier and take your baby along for the ride. My partner and I enjoyed dinner at a cozy restaurant with our one-month-old snug in a wrap, and it was no big deal. When baby fussed, I just nursed discreetly (see the above point).
You Don’t Need All the Gear.
A few diapers, a change of clothes, and perhaps some pacifiers are all you really need. If you’re formula feeding, of course, you’ll need more, but don’t overpack. Leave behind those extra hats and blankets; simplicity is key.
Trust Your Instincts.
If something feels off, it probably is. There’s no such thing as colic; if your baby is crying excessively, there’s likely a reason. Keep investigating until you find out what’s bothering them. I learned the hard way that my baby had reflux, not a dislike for me.
Accept Help When It’s Offered.
It can be challenging to accept assistance, but don’t hesitate to say yes to meals and cleaning support. Thank them, close the door, and enjoy that casserole—you owe nothing in return.
It’s Your Baby, Your Rules.
Only you and your partner should decide who gets to hold the baby. You can always reclaim your little one whenever you feel like it. Don’t hesitate to assert your boundaries, even if it feels a bit uncomfortable.
Just Savor the Moments.
Stay cozy in bed, watch some shows, and snuggle your baby. This unique time in your life is fleeting. By the time I had my third child, I barely moved for a month because I could. Relish those precious cuddles and let the rest of the world wait, including housework.
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In summary, embrace the chaos of new motherhood, trust your instincts, and don’t hesitate to ask for help. It’s a challenging but rewarding journey, and you’re not alone.