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The Unwritten Pact Among Friends Before Turning 21
Updated: Aug. 14, 2023
Originally Published: March 16, 2023
Even if you live nearby, you may find it beneficial to revisit the unspoken code between friends who grew up together. Life gets hectic, and it’s easy for face-to-face conversations to dwindle, even with those who knew you long before social media transformed our interactions.
The Pact
- We’ll resort to emails, texts, and social media only when absolutely necessary. Nothing can replace the joy of hearing each other’s voices during a phone call when meeting in person isn’t possible. We won’t deceive ourselves into thinking that scrolling through each other’s online photos equals real time spent together. However, we will appreciate these digital windows into each other’s lives and thank the powers of the Internet for enabling such connections.
- Even if our in-person meetings occur only once every few years, they will be so rich and heartfelt that it will feel like no time has passed at all. Our friendship exists in a realm of its own. We may not have seen each other’s homes or families, but we’ve shared the awkward moments of youth, heartbreaks, and even some trauma. It might be hard to believe we’ve grown into adults, but the nostalgia of our friendship will keep us connected.
- Certain songs and movies from our youth will forever tie us together. Just hearing the title of “Iris” by Goo Goo Dolls or anything by the Backstreet Boys will spark instant memories that we’ll eagerly share. If a classic hits the radio, we’ll text each other immediately, reminiscing about the times we’d call into radio shows, hoping to hear our favorite tracks.
- We’ll ask genuine questions about each other’s families, and these inquiries will carry significant weight. “How’s your brother?” or “How are your parents?” will be more than just small talk; they’ll reflect our shared histories and the understanding that we’ve been a part of each other’s lives in meaningful ways.
- We won’t dwell on past mistakes or cringe-worthy moments—like the bad relationships or too many embarrassing nights out. Those days are behind us, and we’re focused on the present. If we can’t meet, we’ll understand that, too.
- We recognize that life is full of responsibilities, challenges, and joys that we might not fully share due to distance and time. We won’t hold it against each other or pretend that social media updates change the reality of our lives. Our friendship exists in a unique space, free from the drama of misunderstandings that often accompany adult relationships.
- Above all, we will cherish each other unconditionally, for our shared memories are too precious to let anything come between us.
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Summary
The unspoken agreement among friends who grew up together emphasizes the importance of genuine communication and connection, even across distances and time. These friendships, built on shared memories and experiences, thrive on unconditional support while recognizing the realities of adult life.
