We often find ourselves stressed about “family time” these days. The term has evolved to mean dragging everyone away from their preferred activities for quaint rituals like playing board games or engaging in sports. After a few hours of this enforced togetherness, everyone retreats to their corners, eager to reconnect with their devices. This kind of family time falls into a category that military personnel refer to as “mandatory fun,” which encompasses events you can’t decline, no matter how you feel about them. Weddings, office gatherings, and school performances fit this bill. Yet, such occasions can feel more burdensome than joyous, often creating more stress than relief.
My partner, Alex, served over two decades as a Navy officer, and our two children have grown up in a world where relocating is as common as losing a tooth. When you’re unsure whether you’ll be in one place for a year or three, and when family is a time zone away, the concept of “family” shifts dramatically. Similar to other professions that involve frequent moves—like academia, religious sectors, or medicine—military families learn the art of embracing spontaneity and finding joy in everyday moments.
Here are three insights every family can adopt to make their time together more meaningful:
1. Everyday Errands Count as Family Time.
Your immediate family is your core, a small universe in itself. Instead of scheduling elaborate outings, find joy in the mundane tasks you do together. Whether navigating the aisles of a big store like Ikea or dealing with a child’s tantrum during a doctor’s visit, these shared experiences can strengthen your bond. Simplifying your approach to family time allows you to cherish what really matters—being together.
2. Value the Family You Have Nearby.
It’s natural to wish you could spend every holiday with distant relatives, but don’t overlook the support systems just around the corner. While faraway family members may hold a special place in your heart, they often can’t participate in everyday life—like school events or impromptu babysitting. Focus on building relationships with those nearby, even if they annoy you sometimes. Create your own family gatherings with friends and neighbors who can step in when times get tough.
3. Cherish Cozy Moments Together.
On one memorable assignment in California, we were fortunate to have a lovely home with a spacious patio. Summer evenings spent around the pool, sipping drinks while our kids played, felt like little treasures. If you’ve got a great room, a beautiful garden, or a big bed perfect for lazy Sundays, take the time to enjoy those spaces with your family. The moments you spend together in these comforting environments matter just as much as grand plans.
Military families, including servicemembers, spouses, and children, have learned to appreciate the good times because they often come amid challenges. This lesson is valuable for all families, including ours, as we navigate life after Alex’s retirement. Our children are now older and busier, but I can’t wait for those summer pool days with them. Yes, I’ll need to schedule it, but it’ll be worth every minute.
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In summary, military families teach us that meaningful connections can be forged through simple, everyday moments. By embracing spontaneity, valuing local relationships, and cherishing cozy times together, every family can create lasting memories.