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Parenting
Emotionally Healthy Reinterpretations of What You Might Say to Your Kids
by Julia Anderson
Updated: Aug. 20, 2023
Originally Published: March 30, 2023
Yell at your kids? Not you! You took a Child Development course in college and aspire to be like the iconic mother from “Little Bear” or the wise dad from “Wonder Pets.” But let’s be real—if you ever find yourself raising your voice, here’s how those moments can still become valuable teaching opportunities for your little ones.
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“What were you thinking?”
This is a classic when you catch your toddler drawing on the wall with a permanent marker. Instead of reacting with frustration, you can turn this into a reflective moment. Your child might ponder, “What was I thinking? Maybe I felt creative, or perhaps I was just experimenting with colors.” You’ve initiated a dialogue that encourages self-reflection, and who knows? One day, she might earn a PhD in Art History! -
“Can I have just one minute of peace?”
If you’ve ever been in a situation where you needed a moment of solitude—like hiding in the bathroom to escape the chaos of a snow day—you know this phrase all too well. From this, your kids can learn essential life lessons like “Adults need time for themselves,” “It’s okay to take short breaks,” and “Mommy’s voice turns a funny shade when she’s overwhelmed.” -
“I’ll turn this car around if you keep making noise!”
This statement teaches your child about the importance of safety while driving. When a driver is distracted, it can jeopardize everyone’s safety. On the flip side, when you manage the chaos in the backseat by tossing a snack to distract your howling toddler, your child realizes that you can handle stressful situations. She’ll know you can remain calm even when confronted with the challenges of parenthood. -
“Get over here right now!”
Your enthusiastic call can make any child perk up with delight. They might think, “What a fantastic mother I have who wants me near her! Surely, we’re about to embark on a fun project!” Little do they know, your motivation is more about preventing them from acting out. -
“I’m leaving whether you come or not!”
This phrase, often uttered in frustration as you rush to the car, imparts several lessons. Firstly, your child might wonder, “Does Mom really think I’ll let her leave without me?” Secondly, they may realize that their actions—like not putting on shoes—have consequences. Lastly, they might vow, “When I grow up, I’ll never make empty threats to my kids!” (Just wait, little one!) -
“You can have a cookie if you start listening!”
While this might not impart profound wisdom, it does show that rewards can come from good behavior. As children grow, they learn that incentives are often more meaningful than just a sweet treat. Oh well, at least the other points hit the mark. Now, I can finally treat myself to a well-deserved Frappuccino!
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In summary, parenting is a journey filled with ups and downs. By reframing our words, we can transform potentially negative moments into valuable lessons for our children, helping them grow into emotionally intelligent individuals.