Updated: May 19, 2017
Originally Published: March 31, 2015
1. Please, Not Now!
From the moment you feel your first contraction, this stage kicks in and doesn’t let up until you’re managing to snag more than five hours of sleep at a time. With disposable underwear, late-night sweats, and a body that feels like a war zone, it’s tough to remember that it was passion that led you to this point. Your partner might find those disposable undies oddly enticing and attempt to initiate intimacy. If that happens, a quick look at some graphic birth photos should put an end to his enthusiasm—nothing dampens the mood like a reminder of the miracle of childbirth!
2. Too Much Effort
Around the six-month mark, the thought of rekindling your sex life starts to feel like a distant possibility. You recall the fun you once had, but with sleepless nights and endless diaper changes, the idea of anything after brushing your teeth seems overwhelming. Meanwhile, your partner may be eagerly awaiting a return to intimacy. If that’s the case, consider showing him those birth photos again or perhaps gifting him a subscription to a site with adult content. Sure, it might not be the best for women’s perceptions, but it can definitely keep him distracted while you focus on simply surviving.
3. Let’s Give It a Go
As your little one begins to sleep through the night and you start to reclaim your self-care routine, the thought of intimacy starts to spark again. You shave those legs, pour a glass of wine, and indulge in some romantic settings. But just when things seem to heat up, a sudden reminder hits—those lactating breasts can be quite the mood killer. You may find yourself awkwardly navigating around this new challenge, only to be reminded, oh boy, that first time back can hurt! Your OB was right; easing back into things might require a little more patience and perhaps a glass or two of wine to help take the edge off.
4. Reconnecting with Intimacy
Having adjusted to life with a baby, you now have a semblance of a routine. Your child naps, sleeps through the night, and you’re starting to feel like your old self again. You and your partner begin to have moments of real quality time, going out for dinners and reconnecting. After a few successful attempts at postpartum intimacy, you may find that your body feels more like your own again—free from the constant demands of breastfeeding. Suddenly, sex after baby is fantastic! You can hardly believe you spent so many months away from this aspect of your relationship just due to exhaustion. You both agree that more intimacy is in order!
5. Let’s Have Another Baby!
Once you’re back to a full night’s sleep and perhaps enjoying a margarita or two, the idea of having a second child can become incredibly appealing. Why not give it a shot? After all, more babies mean more opportunities for intimacy, right? Plus, those adorable little faces are hard to resist. You might convince yourself that the second time around will be a breeze—now, let’s get cozy!
Remember, while intimacy is wonderful, so is a good night’s sleep. So be sure to practice safe habits!
Looking for more information? Check out this post for insights on home insemination or explore this excellent resource for everything related to pregnancy. If you’re curious about self-insemination options, Make a Mom offers a great selection.
Summary
The journey through intimacy after having a baby can be quite a rollercoaster, starting from avoidance during the early days of sleepless nights to a rekindled connection as you adjust to parenthood. Each stage presents unique challenges and milestones, ultimately leading to a more profound appreciation for intimacy and family life.