When I receive a call from my daughter’s horse riding instructor, I brace myself for bad news. Unlike her usual texts, a phone call from Erin signals that something is wrong.
“Maya had a fall,” she begins, “and her arm… it’s broken.” The news hits me like a ton of bricks. Just a week into summer vacation, our plans were already falling apart. Money was tight, and we had hoped that enrolling our 8-year-old in pony camp would provide her with a memorable experience. But now, that dream felt shattered.
As I navigate the winding roads towards the stable, I reflect on our lighthearted conversation from just two hours earlier. Maya and her friend Chloe were laughing in the backseat, excited for a day with the ponies. I had jokingly warned them to keep their arms inside the car to avoid injury. It’s ironic that I had expressed such concern just hours before my daughter faced real danger.
Upon arriving, I find Maya lying on a couch with an ice pack on her arm, a fellow camper’s mother keeping watch. She looks at me with tear-filled eyes and whispers, “My arm hurts.” When asked later if she knew it was broken, she simply replied, “Yeah, it looked like my arm had two elbows.”
The next eight hours blur into a mix of pain, anxiety, and disbelief. Maya only cries when she learns she needs an IV for sedation before they can reset her arm. I, too, feel overwhelmed when I hear they must fully break one of her fractured bones to align it properly. It’s a moment I can’t bear to witness.
Maya has always been drawn to animals, preferring them over toys. When she first started riding, I was both excited and apprehensive. The previous summer’s pony camp had gone off without a hitch, and I assumed the next year would be the same. I noticed other moms seemingly unfazed by the risks, but I couldn’t shake my worries. I had heard stories of accidents, yet I told myself the benefits of riding—exercise, responsibility, connection to nature—far outweighed the risks.
But injury is a reality. Just a week after her first show, Maya’s foot slipped from the stirrup, and she fell, fracturing her arm in two places. Thankfully, she is a resilient girl. When people see her purple cast, the second question they ask, after “What happened?” is, “Will you ride again?” The doctor confidently states that young riders often can’t wait to get back in the saddle. Maya, with all her bravery, answers, “Yes, I will.” But I can’t help but question if she should.
The conventional wisdom urges her to conquer her fears, to be brave. As her mother, I feel the pressure to support her in this pursuit of courage. Yet, I also want to protect her. It’s a confusing role reversal. Why should I encourage her to risk injury again?
When the next lesson approaches, Maya’s cast is gone, replaced by a flexible splint. I wear sunglasses to hide my apprehension as she rides again. But as she canters across the field, I feel a surge of joy. She’s reclaiming her summer, and it’s beautiful to witness.
We celebrate with pizza afterward, but doubt creeps back in—what if she falls again? An email from Maya’s teacher resurfaces in my mind. She empathizes, sharing her own experiences with her daughter’s injuries. She reflects on how she once sheltered kittens, only to realize that keeping them too safe could lead to greater dangers. We can’t shield our children from pain forever; sometimes, the very protections we put in place can become hindrances.
Maya chooses to take a break from riding, opting to join a new after-school program instead. I feel a mix of relief and confusion but ultimately support her decision. It’s a reminder that every child’s journey is unique and that sometimes stepping back is just as important as moving forward.
In conclusion, parenting often means allowing our children to face challenges and experience pain. Through those moments, they learn resilience and strength, essential skills for navigating life.
For more on this journey, check out this insightful blog post about navigating parenthood. If you’re interested in expanding your family, Make a Mom offers valuable resources on fertility and home insemination. And for more support, UCSF’s Center is an excellent resource for pregnancy and home insemination.