Errands for my mom? Easy. Carpooling with a gaggle of friends? No sweat. Late-night drives from college to the city? Who can resist a 3 a.m. noodle fix? When I lived in Manhattan, I held onto my car, strategically moving it around to dodge tickets or potential break-ins. Whether it was sunny or snowing, I was always ready for a spontaneous road trip, from picking apples to ferrying friends across town. I thought nothing of risking a fender bender for a concert miles away.
Then I transitioned to suburban life. In this new realm, driving to the mailbox is a given. Trips to the gym typically involve driving to a treadmill. Borrowing a cup of sugar means a 10-minute jaunt to the store. It’s astounding how quickly the miles—and years—accumulate.
Initially, the scenic, tree-lined streets felt charming. But after navigating those speed bumps day in and day out—picking up the kids, dropping them at school, shuttling them to soccer practice—it starts to wear on you.
“Dad, can you grab me at 5 from my practice, take Julie home, and also swing by Staples for index cards? Oh, and dinner from Panera sounds great; I’m really craving that Frontega Chicken.”
“After you pick me up at Main Street, could you drop me off at Lisa’s? I’ll need you back in two hours for a gym trip. Oh, and can Deanna join us? She’ll be waiting outside her house.”
“Dad, I left my sweater at Lindsey’s. Can you grab it when you’re back from Home Depot? Also, Mom’s cooking salmon, so could you pick up something from Panera? You know I can’t stand salmon. Love ya!”
Wait, what?
Suddenly, I’m in a constant state of vehicular motion. And that’s just one child! Add in multiple kids, and you’ll see parents waving from opposite sides of the road. Forget cozy evenings on the couch; mom and dad are now road warriors, battling the elements and the relentless demands of almost-teenagers.
I take pride in being a dedicated dad, but when did I become Uber Dad? Was it a box I ticked on a birth certificate? Am I bound by a lifelong commitment to be just a text away? Always in overdrive, transporting kids from point A to point B, offering complimentary door-to-door service for their ever-changing schedules.
Uber Dad? More like Uber schmuck. (Stay positive… Uber-mensch.)
With music, information, and conversations at their fingertips, why not have dad on speed dial? Today’s instant gratification means I’m just a call away. Forget conference calls; I can handle those from the front seat while zooming to school pick-up. It’s suburban multitasking at its finest.
I confess, I’m partly to blame. I chose to raise my kids in an area with limited sidewalks. I longed for trees, grass, and fresh air—an overpriced slice of paradise.
No more constant honking, unless it’s geese migrating south. Just the open air and roadside vegetable stands. But in escaping city congestion, I inadvertently drove straight to the gas pump, spending my hours filling up the car.
I’ve unintentionally taught my children that every road begins and ends at home. No distance is too great, no trip too tiring. Weekend tournaments? Just a quick drive down the interstate. Friday movie nights? Parents can always catch up on Netflix later.
It’s a juggling act: deciding which parents drop off and which pick up. Instead of catching up with friends over sushi, you’re negotiating with another parent about the logistics of carpooling. Dylan’s dad seems to take up more of my time than my own father.
And don’t get me started on those parents who pull a quick U-turn when it’s their turn to join the suburban shuttle. You know, the ones who drop their kids off in your driveway without a word and hurry off to some local wine bar.
“Haley’s mom can’t drive.” “Haley’s dad is out of town.” “Haley’s nanny is off on Wednesdays.”
But why should they bother when Uber Dad is always ready?
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Summary
Moving to the suburbs transforms parents into “Uber Dads,” juggling endless driving duties for their children. This shift from city life brings new challenges and logistics, as parents navigate the demands of family schedules and transportation needs.