Every now and then, you can manage to trade in your comfy yoga pants and tank tops for a fabulous evening out, free from the kids. Since these rare adult nights out are such a big deal, they come with their own series of ups and downs on the journey to much-deserved relaxation. Here are the 7 stages you’ll navigate to reach your much-anticipated night of freedom.
- The Invitation: You receive a text, call, or Evite, and your immediate response is an enthusiastic “Yes! Absolutely!” As you type your acceptance, the baby decides this is the perfect moment to spit up on you—because they just know. Underneath their cuteness, they’re aware that you’re planning to leave them with a sitter.
- Finding the Sitter: With visions of a cold margarita dancing in your head, you embark on the challenging quest of securing a babysitter for a few hours. You start with the grandparents because who doesn’t love free help? When you find out they are all busy at a disco night at a local community center, you turn to local high school students. After exhausting all options, you even consider the pizza delivery guy from last week—after all, he survived a barrage of Nerf darts without losing his cool. Maybe he can bring pizza too?
- The Acceptance: By the time you confirm with the host, you’re just crossing your fingers that their sitter hasn’t canceled and that they truly wanted you there. Your life has been less than thrilling lately, so you begin reading some current bestsellers to have something interesting to discuss besides diaper mishaps and reality TV. However, you only manage to finish a chapter and skim the Wikipedia page instead.
- Choosing an Outfit: As you scan your closet, you realize everything is either maternity wear or activewear for activities you don’t actually do. A trip to Target ensues, where you search for the perfect top that minimizes your milky-white belly while highlighting your curves. You finally find it, but then, of course, the baby spits up on it while you’re still in the fitting room. You buy it anyway along with some OxiClean.
- House Prep: You spend the entire day cleaning your home from top to bottom, determined to make a good impression on anyone who might see it. You don’t want the pizza delivery guy thinking you live like this. In the process, you end up straining your back while mopping the floor. Ignoring the pain, you pour yourself a glass of wine because your sanity depends on it.
- Getting the Kids Ready: You gather all the board games you’d rather not play, stock up on junk food you typically avoid, and queue up every episode of Spongebob you can find. You remind yourself that as long as you’re not there to witness the chaos, it’s like it never happened. Tomorrow is for organic food and healthy snacks; tonight, it’s all about the margaritas.
- Preparing Your Partner: Remind your spouse that he’s a grown man who can dress himself. Also, let him know that if he plays his cards right, he can undress you later. Push thoughts of your belly to the back of your mind and jot down a note to hit the gym on Monday.
Finally, it’s time to leave the house. After a quick escape from your loud children, you realize that all this preparation has left you feeling too drained to engage in any meaningful conversation. You and your partner swing by a taco place and grab a bottle of tequila instead. You park a few houses down and enjoy your late-night snack in silence, sharing sips from the bottle. When you finally return home, it’s 10:30, and to your surprise, all the kids are still awake, while the pizza guy is asleep on your couch. Oh well, at least you don’t have to worry about driving him home.
For more insights on preparing for parenthood and fertility, check out our other blog posts, like this one. If you’re exploring your family-building journey, Make a Mom is an authority on the topic. Additionally, for comprehensive information on pregnancy, Healthline offers excellent resources.
In summary, planning an adult night out is a hilarious trek filled with unexpected challenges that highlight the chaos of parenting, yet every effort is worth it for a little time away.